


Casting Out Shadows

by Paganaidd



Series: Unchained Heart [2]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:48:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 25,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24611794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paganaidd/pseuds/Paganaidd
Summary: Catra has a long way to go to get her happy ending. An angsty little story about PTSD. Set about 4 weeks after the end of season 5.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Series: Unchained Heart [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1925746
Comments: 139
Kudos: 797





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for season 5. Turn back now.

“No.”   


Adora had no warning other than the bunching of muscles under her hand and that thin, whispered sound of negation. Catra spun and raked her claws across Adora’s face, narrowly missing her eye.

“Ow! Hey! Stop!” Adora stumbled back, falling onto her butt from the unprovoked attack. Instinctively, she bounced up from the ground into a fighting stance, looking and listening for whatever had made her companion lash out so violently. Blood and tears dripped down her face as the gashes throbbed and stung. Adora pressed her sleeve hard against her face, fighting to clear her vision and meet the threat. She looked wildly around for her companion. Where had Catra gone?

The night was quiet all around them. The still water of the pool they stood beside gave off a gentle, greenish glow. The sheltering trees held fireflies and the only sound were the chirps of crickets.

“I can’t.” The words were barely audible. “Please…” Adora didn’t know who Catra was talking to. Wide cat eyes stared up from underneath the shadow of a pine before they blinked away.

“Catra? Can’t …what?” Adora yelled. Her friend (girlfriend? Lover? Adora knew what she wanted to call Catra, but they had not talked about it yet) scuttled away, further into the underbrush. “What can’t you do? Catra! Wait!” 

Too late. Catra was gone and her ever-present companion, Melog, had disappeared too. The night stayed quiet. Nothing came out of the trees to threaten them, she heard no distant sounds of distress.

Slowly, Adora walked back, listening for Catra and keeping her eyes on the shadows. Catra had never tagged her with her claws like that. The bleeding would not stop, no matter how hard she pressed. Her eyes watered, spilling salt into the cut. 

What just happened? 

* * *

Something about that particular forest pond always made Catra’s stomach clench. A relic of the last battle with Horde Prime, it glowed and shimmered with unnatural lights even during the day. If Catra looked at it too long she always felt like something lurked underneath, ready to pull her under. She avoided it altogether at night.

Tonight though, she and Adora had gone walking, aimless until Catra realized they were near that creepy pool.

“Hey, have you seen the pond over here?” Adora chirped. “It’s pretty. Bow is trying to figure out what makes it glow. Come on.”  


“I’ve seen it.” Catra grunted. She wanted to pull away, to run, but that was just being silly. “Glowy water. Kind of pretty, I guess.” 

“Have you seen it at night?” Adora asked, taking her hand."Let's go look at it."  


Catra did not want to get closer to the damned place, she didn't care why it glowed and definitely didn't want to see it at night. But, that simple gesture had been Catra’s undoing for the last month. All the blonde girl ever had to do was take her hand and Catra would follow her to the end of the universe.   


“Isn’t this gorgeous?!” Adora stopped on the trail to spread her arms, encompassing the scene. Catra took two steps further down the path and froze.

_Cast out the shadows._

The pool glowed green under the moons. The forest had grown impossibly fast since the day the magic came back, growing a year’s worth in mere days. The trees crowded closely around the pool, their branches arching over the trail to form a tunnel. Winking fireflies seemed to be eyes, staring out of the darkness. The world tilted and Catra shivered.

_ Cast out the shadows. _

Vividly, the former Horde soldier remembered how Horde Prime laid his hand on her shoulder, in the green light of his acid bath. She could feel his claws bite into her flesh. She wanted to recoil, to fight him the way she had fought so many clones. His will held her still.

_ Snip. Snip. Snip. _

She could still feel the touch of one of the clones as they cut away her long mane of hair.

_ Cast out the shadows. _

They led her to the pool. She was powerless. She couldn’t resist. Couldn’t struggle. Couldn’t scream.

Adora…It was worth it for Adora. She had to believe it.

_ Cast out the shadows. _

A hand touched her shoulder, the back of her neck. A sharp, burning pain. Horde Prime was touching her again. She couldn’t move. Couldn’t move.

She knew what waited for her in that pool. If she thought he would merely drown her, she would go willingly, happily. She could tell herself one last story; she could be a noble martyr and never have to worry about hurting again.

But, no.

Her luck could never run that way. He would never let her go. Never end her suffering. Horde Prime’s harsh light would illuminate the darkest, most private corners of her soul. Places that Shadow Weaver had searched for but never come near. Places she had always protected with her bravado, her outrage, her fists, her claws and teeth. Moments of beauty and grace that she hid even from herself, most days. Exposed by the white flame, her passions, her love, her anger, her loss, her grief was the insignificant spitting of a kitten. It meant nothing.  _ She _ meant nothing.

The peace of the grave was denied to her and she was to be consumed with Horde Prime’s peace of meaninglessness. Nothing mattered. Nothing had ever mattered. She was nothing but a tool to be discarded once she was no longer useful.

The light beckoned her to give up, to consent. She would be safe in Horde Prime’s light. All pain, all pleasure would be burned away. The light promised healing, forgetfulness, rest. All she had to do was let it happen.

“No.”

One word changed the universe. Small and fragile though it was, the word released her. She could move, she could breathe. She leaped up into the air, spun, and raked her claws across Horde Prime’s face.

She crouched at his feet as he stumbled, then she scurried off to the side. There was a way out of here, she was sure of it. She dashed into the darkness surrounding the dais, where the clones slept eerily in their pods, waiting to be born.

_ Horde Prime’s light casts out all shadows. _

“Catra!”

“I can’t.” She whispered. “Please.” No one would hear. No one ever heard her. No one would save her. A break in the darkness showed her a path. She ran headlong into the night, fleeing into the velvet depths of the overhanging trees, she found the trail they walked in on and kept running.

Running hurt. That was good, that was easy pain. Pain her body accepted and expected. She focused on the three-steps-breathe-in-three-steps-breathe-out rhythm to center herself. Burning calves, aching thighs. If she was fast enough, she could outrun the fear.

It might have been ten minutes before she realized Melog paced beside her, easily keeping up with her sprint. She stumbled to a stop.

What just happened?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Glimmer talk

Melog waking her up in the middle of the night by sitting on her chest was Glimmer’s first hint that something was wrong. 

“Huh?” Glimmer opened one eye in response to the unfamiliar weight. “What?”

The alien cat’s mane and tail were red, but their form was small as if they were trying to show anxiety rather than anger. They butted Glimmer’s face urgently.

“Hey, big guy,” Bow mumbled, opening his eyes. “What’s up?”

Instead of answering, Melog put their mouth on Glimmer’s wrist and tugged gently. They mewled a few times then did it again. Not for the first time, Glimmer wished they would actually talk to someone besides Catra. She always had to work hard to remember that Melog was more than a big kitty. 

Coming more awake, she summoned a light. Melog was alone and alternately pulling at her wrist and licking her cheek. 

“You want me to go with you?” she asked. Melog tugged harder and chirped.

A knock and then the door opened without waiting for an answer. “Glimmer? Bow?” Adora’s voice sounded rough and urgent. “Is Catra here?” By the dim light, Glimmer saw that she had dark stains on her shirt and held a cloth up to her cheek.

“I don’t think so,” called Bow, dropping to the floor from the bed. “Melog is though.”

“Melog! Where’s Catra?”

Melog jumped to the floor growing larger and their color changed to blue. They butted Adora’s hand away from her face so they saw the four deep parallel cuts that marred her cheek. They licked her gently, as if in apology before hopping back up onto the bed to sit on Glimmer

“Adora? What happened?” Bow asked.

The young woman’s eyes filled with tears although they didn’t fall. “Catra. She...I’m not sure what happened, but…” she gestured at the injuries and Glimmer saw that the dark stains were all over her sleeve too.

“Those look pretty deep.” Glimmer said. “Were you sparring? You should really try a fencing mask if she’s going to use her claws.”

“No. We were talking. She just...I don’t know.”

Bow crossed the distance between them to examine the wounds. He took a deep breath before saying in a carefully neutral voice. “Wow. So those are pretty bad.” He swallowed and shifted worriedly. “Were...were you two arguing or something?” 

“Huh? What do you mean?” Adora winced as Bow tilted her chin towards the light.

“I mean…You know...it's not okay to let her hit you when she’s angry. Right?” 

Glimmer held her breath, waiting for the answer. The truth was, she wasn’t completely sure that Adora would know that. 

“No. No, it wasn’t...anything like that.” Adora said, softly. “I think it was an accident.”

Glimmer felt her jaw unclench, relieved that they wouldn’t have that kind of drama tonight. But Bow seemed skeptical. “Seriously?” he asked in a tight voice.

“I just don’t know what happened.” Adora batted Bow’s hands away distractedly. “Anyway, Melog, take me to Catra. I’m worried about her.”

Melog made an impatient sound and tugged on Glimmer again. “Um. Adora? I think Melog wants me to go.”

“What?” Adora’s grey eyes narrowed in confusion. “Why?”

Melog hopped down and licked her cheek again. After a second Bow said, “Maybe Catra doesn’t need to see this mess right now.”

“Oh. Okay, I’ll just…” Adora put her hand forth to summon her sword. 

Nothing. Not even a shift in the light. 

“Gah!” Adora threw up her hands. “This, again?” The frustration caused the threatened tears to spill down her cheeks.

“It’s okay, I can clean you up the old fashioned way.” Bow took Adora’s hand and led her to the bathroom. “Melog knows what he’s doing.”

Melog jumped onto the bed and circled around Glimmer. Between one heartbeat and the next, they stood on the flat parapet of Bright Moon’s highest tower. Sitting on the low wall in front of them was Catra. Even with her back to them she looked the picture of misery; she had her arms wrapped around her knees and her bent head and shoulders seemed to be shaking with silent sobs. 

Melog mewled.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Catra said, her voice rough. “I told you.”

The alien cat huffed and growled.

“No. I don’t want to talk to anyone.”

Glimmer cleared her throat so Catra would know she was there. Catra’s head snapped around. “What do you want, Sparkles?” she growled. “I don’t want to talk to anyone.” She put her head back down on her knees as if to shut out the whole word.

Once Glimmer might have backed away from such a reception, but she’d learned a lot about Catra on those days on Horde Prime’s ship. She’d glimpsed the young woman Adora loved, the one she knew Adora had to rescue. Perhaps this was why Melog had come to find her.

“Okay.” Glimmer walked up to Catra and sat on the stone wall facing inward so that their backs were to each other. “We don’t have to talk. We can just sit.”

The tense muscles in Catra’s back shook for a long time as she leaned into Glimmer’s warmth. Melog jumped up beside both of them and put their head on Catra’s lap, forcing her to uncoil from her defensive posture and wrapped their tail around Glimmer’s belly, holding both of the women in a kind of embrace.

When finally Catra’s shaking ceased, Glimmer kept her mouth shut. After so many of these conversations, she knew, if she was going to get anything useful out of Catra, it was better to let her start.

“Sparkles?”

“Yeah?”

“Is...is Adora okay?”

“She’s worried about you.” Glimmer couldn’t help the note of reproach the crept into her voice. “Her face was a mess. And she couldn’t transform, so Bow’s cleaning it up.”

“Oh.” 

A long silent pause. So long that Glimmer couldn’t keep quiet any longer. “So...what happened?”

Catra jumped up and then down to the floor as if the contact between them was suddenly unbearable. “I didn’t know it was her.” She hugged herself and Glimmer noticed long scratches on her arms, deeper than the ones on Adora’s face. She paced the length of the parapet, then stopped right in front of Glimmer to look her straight in the eye. “I thought I was back on Prime’s ship.” This admission seemed to be all Catra could manage; her voice broke on the last word and she began to sob. “I-I…” The shaking started again and she fell to her knees, clutching the back of her neck with one hand and using the other to cover her face.

“Shh. It’s okay.” Glimmer jumped up to kneel in front of her. “I remember what that place was like.”

“You don’t. You don’t. You don’t know.” Catra sobbed. “When I let you go. I thought he was just going to kill me. I was okay with that. That was fine. But, what he did...” 

Glimmer swallowed hard. She knew that Horde Prime had tortured Catra for saving her, but she’d never asked for details, figuring she didn’t want to know. She steeled herself to ask, “What did he do to you?” 

Catra took her hand away from her face to stare at Glimmer and then she laughed. It was an eerie, mirthless out-of-control sound. “You don’t want to know.”

Melog growled softly and Glimmer put her hand out. “It was my fault you were there,” Glimmer whispered, “and it was my fault what happened to you. I know you were trying to save Adora and it wasn’t about me, but you saved me too. If it hadn’t been for you, I wouldn’t have lasted five minutes.” That was something Glimmer had been thinking a lot about lately, how without Catra telling Horde Prime about Etheria’s weapon, he would have just killed her out of hand. “So, you can tell me. I do want to know.”

Something shifted behind Catra’s eyes and she clutched at Glimmer’s outstretched hand. 

“It was...bad.”

Glimmer waited through another long silence. Finally, Catra took two or three long breaths and the words tumbled out of her mouth in a furtive mutter.

“First he just...just hurt me.” Catra shrugged, with a nonchalance that chilled Glimmer to the marrow. “That wasn’t anything new. Shadow Weaver and Hordak taught me how to cope with that. So, they cut off my hair. Stuck me in that pool. Chipped me. It wasn’t so terrible.”

“Catra…” Glimmer interrupted, unable to stay quiet in the face of such an obvious lie.

The other woman shook her head. “No. Really. That wasn’t bad,” she asserted, with another creepy chuckle. “It was just the same shit, different day. I figured I’d eventually piss him off bad enough that he’d just kill me, you know? But, I guess I didn’t really understand what the chip was about.”

“What do you mean?”

“With the chip, I couldn’t tell what was real. Horde Prime kept going into my head, finding out what I wanted. What I _really_ wanted. Not what I used to tell myself I wanted.” Catra squeezed her eyes shut. “And...and giving it to me.” She opened her eyes now, searching Glimmer’s face for something. “It was always Adora. He kept making me think Adora had come back for me. She’d tell me she loved me. She’d tell me she wasn’t going to leave me. And it was always perfect. She’d kiss me and then we'd...y’know, do other things.” 

Catra’s sudden fierce blush let Glimmer know exactly what “other things” meant. The hair on the back of Glimmer’s neck stood up as she considered what it must be like to have your deepest fantasies and desires turned against you. 

“And then...he’d t-t-take it away. Show me that she wasn’t coming back. He kept digging into my head to show me why. How I wasn’t good enough for her. How she didn’t want me. It was a game to him! He…” Catra broke off, let go of Glimmer’s hand, and dug her claws into her hair pulling at it.

“I don’t know how many times he did it.” She rocked back and forth as she spoke. “Every time he did it, I begged him to let me go. To please just kill me. And when she really came for me, I thought it was just another mind game. She wasn’t supposed to come back!” 

“But, we did come back for you.” Glimmer felt that Catra needed to be reminded of this, for some reason. As gently as she could, she pulled Catra’s hands down and held them.

“I know.” Catra nodded, opening red-rimmed eyes. “It’s just...I keep having this nightmare where this is all a dream. Like it’s all been set-up in my head and Horde Prime is just fucking with me for fun. And I wake up and I don’t know which is real. And then tonight...it was like I was having that exact nightmare, only I was awake? And I thought...I thought…” she trailed off, withdrawing her hands, curling up, wrapping her tail around herself. “I think I’m losing my mind,” she whispered.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Sparkle's conversation finishes. Trigger warning for self harm.

Unable to meet Glimmer’s eyes anymore after her admission, Catra pulled her hand away, waiting for mockery or contempt. Or maybe for Glimmer to just get up and leave.

“That sounds really scary.” 

“Huh?” Catra was so startled by the concern in the soft tone that she looked up.

Glimmer scooted closer and spoke very quietly. “All that time Horde Prime had me locked up by myself, I thought I was losing my mind. I think I would have if you hadn’t come and talked to me. When Prime threatened you, I didn’t think you would ever come back. And all those times when you did, I was so surprised. I was impressed too. I don’t know if I could have done that.”

“You’re way too easy to impress.” Catra snarked, uncomfortable with the unnecessary praise. “Seriously, though, you were right. I was just lonely. It wasn’t anything...y’know, heroic.” 

“Doesn’t matter. I was just really glad.” Glimmer smiled lopsidedly. “Even when you wanted to fight with me, it was better than what was happening in my head.” She paused and took a breath, “My dad and I were talking the other day--he said that when Bow and Adora turned up on Beast Island, he thought that he was hallucinating because he’d done it before.”

At the reference to Beast Island, Catra winced but didn’t reply. 

“I think you’ve been through a lot and it’ll take some time to adjust, that’s all.”

“Maybe.” Catra ran her hand through her cropped hair and breathed in the fresh night air, trying to believe Glimmer. Melog bumped his head against Catra. She rubbed between his ears, taking comfort in the contact.

The gesture was cut short when Glimmer reached up and caught her wrist, and summoned a light to examine the pattern of slashes on the back of Catra’s arm. “Did you do this to yourself?” 

“It’s nothing,” Catra muttered, embarrassed. She stood up and walked away, towards the low wall, crossing her arms over each other to hide the scrapes. “Don’t worry about it. Sparring.” She was going to have to find herself some long gloves again. 

Glimmer stood up too, following her. “Don’t you dare lie to me,” she hissed. “If you don’t want to talk about it fine, but you are not allowed to fucking lie to me.”

Startled by Glimmer’s language and sudden anger, Catra turned back to her. “Okay, fine. I don’t want to talk about it. What does it matter?” she demanded.

“You matter,” Glimmer asserted, still sounding angry. “You matter to us.”

At those words, Catra’s stomach clenched up, and the whole tower seemed to sway. A wave of dizziness swept over her. She had to swallow hard to keep the contents of her stomach down.

“Catra?” Glimmer’s voice came from a long way off. “Are you all right?.”

“I just…” The thin platform they stood upon seemed incredibly high suddenly. To be fair, it _was_ incredibly high and this parapet was accessed by nothing but an ornate metal stair. When she’d first fled here she wanted somewhere to feel safe. Now, she didn’t know how she was going to get down. She could almost feel the delicate spire give way to emptiness under her feet and her body tumbling through the dark. The crunch of her pelvis and spine as they broke against a cold black floor. The sick crack of the back of her head. Fighting to breathe as her ribs scraped against each other. The sound of bone rubbing on bone when she tried to move.

“Sparkles?” she asked weakly, fighting to be heard through the black wave that threatened to drown her. “Would you take me back to my room? I can’t...It...it's too high.” Catra nearly wept with gratitude that Glimmer didn’t ask any questions before taking her hand and using her magic to take her home.

As soon as their feet hit the floor of the rooms she shared with Adora, Catra tried to bolt for the bathroom. She didn’t make it and fell to her knees, dry heaving.

“Sorry,” Glimmer said, softly, kneeling down next to her. She went to put her hand on Catra’s shoulder.

“Don’t,” squeaked Catra, waving her off. “Please.” The pain at the base of her neck was real and not just a ghost from her memory. She didn’t want to have to explain the wounds--the thing about her arms was fucked-up enough without bringing up the rest of it. “Just...give me a second.” After a moment, the teleportation induced nausea abated enough for her to sit up on her knees.

“Are you okay, now?” 

“Yeah. Just peachy.” Catra moved to sit cross-legged on the floor, rubbed one eye with the heel of one hand. “I hate that.” She sighed, then looked up at Glimmer. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Glimmer smiled, but the expression looked shadowed. “What happened?”

“I got dizzy.”

“Dizzy?”

“Yeah. Dizzy. It happens.”

“Uh-huh.” 

Glimmer didn’t accuse her of lying again, but Catra could see something like disappointment in her eyes. For one second Catra wanted to rage at her, tell her to stop pretending to be her friend, but the memory of those hours they had spent sitting back to back on Horde Prime’s ship stopped her. And, she had already broken down crying in front of Glimmer once tonight, surely she could dare a little more truth. “Did...did Adora ever tell you what happened when she rescued me?” 

“No.” Shifting around to get more comfortable, Glimmer shrugged. “I mean, we saw how badly you were hurt. I didn’t like to ask.”

“I only remember parts of it. Well, that’s not quite true. I just don’t like to think about it.” Catra looked away. It was easier to talk when she wasn’t looking directly at her. “Anyway, he made me fight Adora.”

“I figured that much.”

Catra nodded, that was kind of Prime’s thing, after all. “He’d been wandering around my memories for days. He kept bringing up all the worst things that ever happened to me. I think it entertained him.” She didn’t add that Prime had also barely allowed her enough food, water and sleep to keep her alive in the days before Adora came. “But also, he was looking for ways to mess up She Ra. He saw how Adora was about protecting m…” She stopped so she could swallow the lump in her throat. “You know how she is about protecting people.”

“I know,” Glimmer said. “Is that how you got hurt? I mean, she was so messed up about you being hurt that we assumed She Ra must have done it.” 

“No. We were fighting, but She Ra didn’t show up at all, then. And, honestly, Adora and I...well we’re usually about even. She’s bigger, but I fight dirtier.” Catra gave Glimmer a look and was rewarded by the other woman’s smirk. “When she hit the chip a couple of times I could start fighting Prime’s control and I could talk to her. I mean, before that I could see what was happening but I couldn’t do anything but watch.”

Watch and _feel_ as Horde Prime used her depleted body as though it was in perfect condition; feel her starved muscles shrieking with every leap, feel every blow that landed without the cushioning power of a rush of adrenaline. Feel the pain of her shoulder dislocating to get out of Adora’s hold, the popping crack as it slid back into place. Catra dug her claws into the palm of her hand to stop the scene unfolding in her head so she could go on.

“Near the end...Horde Prime did that thing where he takes over completely. He kept taunting Adora, trying to get She Ra to appear. And then…”

_The pain is almost enough to make Catra believe that this time is real. All the other times Adora had appeared, they never fought, they always went straight to the good stuff. But this time, Catra feels her broken ribs, the bruises on her body that she knew would come up black and livid. She laughs her crazy desperate laugh because this time might be real._

_“I’ve come to take you home.” Adora stands like a sunrise._

_Catra reaches out for Adora’s hand. “Promise?”_

_“I promise.”_

_A jolt of lightning arcs through her. Just like that, her dream of rescue is snatched away again. Prime shackles her in her own body, stands her at the edge of the platform and she falls backward into the depths._

Now, Catra put her hand up to the back of her neck, surreptitiously digging her claws deeply into the flesh, trying to make the memory stop. The soft leather of the shirt collar would soak up the bleeding so that no one would see. “He threw me off that platform where he kept his throne.”

“Oh no.”

“Yeah. And then Adora just jumped down after me like an idiot. Anyway, since then, sometimes I get dizzy when I’m up high. It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid. Not at all.” A warm hand closed around hers and Glimmer pressed herself into her side. Catra shrank into herself, cringing away from the contact and Glimmer backed off a little, but still held her hand. Up until the time Catra had woken up on Darla, she couldn’t remember anyone but Adora and Scorpia ever touching her like this. It was hard to get used to and Catra was glad that Glimmer seemed to understand that. 

The door opened and Glimmer and Catra both started. Melog paced in, closely followed by Bow and Adora. Catra flinched; four long parallel cuts ran down Adora’s face from her temple to her mouth. 

She jumped to her feet. “Adora! I’m so sorry.” She closed the distance between them and started to reach out, then she stopped. Adora had every right to be pissed at her and might not appreciate it.

“It’s okay,” Adora whispered when Catra hesitated, and she wrapped her arms around her, burying her face in Catra’s shoulder. “I was so worried about you.”

Bow cleared his throat and Glimmer said, brightly, “We’ll see you two in the morning, okay?”

Catra looked over Adora’s shoulder at Glimmer. “Thanks, Sparkles,” she mouthed.

Glimmer grinned and waved as she and Bow disappeared.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra isn't feeling well.  
> TW for self-harm

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Catra asked softly, brushing Adora’s face with gentle fingers as they lay in bed together. “I really didn’t know it was you. I swear. “

“I’m okay.” Adora reached out to smooth Catra’s ear. “I figured you didn’t.”

“How come you didn’t do the whole She Ra thing and make it go away?” 

That was a really good question. She Ra seemed to operate on her own logic these days. “I couldn’t summon the sword,” she admitted. “No big deal, Bow’s good at patching me up. All those weeks when you and Glimmer were gone, he practically became an expert at putting my stupid ass back together.” 

Catra’s eyebrows drew together in a frown. “Is there something wrong? I mean, should we be worried?”

“I don’t think so?” Adora heard the uncertainty in her own voice but hastened to reassure Catra. “She’s always shown up when we need her, so I think it’ll be fine.” 

“If you say so. I’m just really sorry.” 

“It’s okay. We’ll talk about it in the morning.” Adora was exhausted and she knew Catra had to be as well. Whatever was going on with her girlfriend wasn’t going to be solved tonight. For now, it was enough that they were both here, safe under blankets, and together. 

When they’d gotten back to Brightmoon after Horde Prime’s demise, Adora had reclaimed her old room. It had been ransacked with the rest of the palace, but although her belongings and the furnishings had been scattered, not much was broken or missing. It had even been fun to have Catra’s help cleaning the place up. The big bed was much less lonely with another person sharing it. She remembered how lonely she’d been in her first days at Brightmoon and how good Glimmer and Bow had been about helping her adjust to life outside the Horde.

“What are you smiling at?” Catra asked, interrupting Adora’s reverie.

“When I first came here, I had the worst time sleeping,” Adora admitted. “Bow and Glimmer had to sleep in here too. I wasn’t used to sleeping alone. I couldn’t believe they were being so nice to me. I kept waiting for something terrible to happen.”

“Yeah. I could see that. I can see why it made you want to stay with them.” 

Pain flitted through Catra’s mismatched eyes and Adora felt stupid for bringing up the past. She looked for a way to make that sadness stop. “I never stopped missing you. I used to dream about you.”

“Good dreams or bad?” Catra asked, curious.

“Some of both,” Adora said, honestly. Then she leered at Catra, “And then some of them were _really_ good.”

Catra’s cheeks flushed as she caught Adora’s meaning and she laughed a throaty little chuckle that warmed Adora to her toes. Even after a month of peace, it still felt strange that they could just be together. 

For a few minutes, they were both quiet. “I love you,” Adora whispered.

Catra purred, her eyes closed, already asleep.

When Adora woke up next, the darkness had given way to grey light, and she wondered if she was ever going to lose the habit of waking up at the ass-crack of dawn even when she’d only gotten an hour's worth of sleep. She sighed and stretched. Today was officially a kingdom-wide rest day, so she didn’t need to get up. But she could never just lie in bed idly, once she woke up. 

She slid out of bed and went to the bathroom. A glance in the mirror showed that the scratches on her face were almost healed, reduced to four thin scrapes that were nearly invisible. Clearly, She Ra was around somewhere. 

“Maybe she doesn’t want me to get lazy,” Adora told her mirror self, with a wry smile. 

Outside, the sun was just beginning to paint the sky gold. Adora grabbed her shoes and threw on some pants and a shirt. It would be a great morning to take a really long run.

Catra still slept soundly and Adora didn’t like to wake her. Melog was awake and watching the sunrise out of the window.

“Will you tell Catra I went for a run?” Adora whispered. “If she wakes up before I get back, maybe you two can come to find me. Otherwise, I’ll probably be back for lunch.”

Melog trilled quietly and licked her cheek.

Running always cleared Adora’s head and gave her time to think. This morning, her mind went back to the look of sheer terror she registered on Catra’s face when she’d freaked out. What had caused it? The last time she’d seen that look was on board Darla, right after she’d put Catra down on her bunk. When Catra had panicked because she thought her rescue wasn’t real.

Several times over the past few weeks, Catra had woken up Adora whimpering and twitching. Usually, Adora would just need to hold her and the whimpering would cease. She hadn’t put too much thought into it before. Catra had never slept well.

By the time she returned to Brightmoon, the sun was high and it was beginning to get hot. She needed a shower and she hoped to talk Catra into joining her. 

“Adora?” Glimmer must have seen her as she ran up the road that led to the Palace because she teleported to her side just as she came in the door. “How’s Catra?”

“She’s okay. Or she was last night. I went for a run early and she was still asleep.” 

“Did you have a chance to talk to her about what happened?” Glimmer fell into step beside her. “I’m a little worried about her.”

“Why?” 

Glimmer bit her lip as though she were weighing her words, then she said, “How did she get all those scratches on her arms?”

“Scratches?” Adora looked at Glimmer quizzically. She’d noticed that a few afternoons ago Catra had come back from somewhere, all scraped up, but she hadn’t thought about it. “Sparring maybe?”

“Adora, the only people Catra spars with around here are either us or the palace guards. And none of us have weapons that leave that kind of mark.”

“What kind of mark?”

Glimmer rolled her eyes and pointed to the barely-there scratches on Adora’s face. “ _Those_ kinds of marks.” 

Adora stopped walking and turned to face Glimmer, remembering how Catra had turned her claws on herself on Darla, tearing at the white Horde uniform she wore, uncaring that she was slashing herself up in the process. “Oh.” 

“Have you talked about what happened to her, at all?” 

Adora sighed and shook her head. “I don’t want to push her. She’s…”

Glimmer nodded, “Yeah, unless she makes the first move she just shuts down or avoids the subject. If she feels like she’s cornered you’ll never get her to talk.”

Marveling that Glimmer knew that about Catra, Adora nodded. “I try to be patient, but I don’t know what to say to get her started.”

“She told me, she’s been having a hard time sleeping.”

“Yeah.”

Before they could say any more, Melog appeared beside them _without_ Catra. His colors were red and deep purple, the same as yesterday. He circled them once and without transition, they landed in Adora’s rooms.

Melog tugged on Adora’s sleeve, almost dragging her onto the bed where Catra was still cocooned in blankets, shaking as though with deep cold.

“Hey, Adora.” She croaked from a parched throat. “Did you have a good run?”

“Yeah.” Adora said. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t feel so good,” she allowed, sounding wary. “I can’t get warm. And I’m thirsty.”

“I’ll get you something to drink.” Glimmer said. She disappeared.

Adora put the back of her hand up to Catra’s forehead. It was hot and dry. The normally soft skin of her cheek had the texture of boot leather. “You’re burning up!” 

“I’m fine. I just need some rest. Maybe something to drink.”

On cue, Glimmer reappeared with Bow and a tray of different fruit juices. Bow had the bag of medical supplies he used on Adora whenever she got banged up in a battle.

Taking in Catra’s condition, Bow sat on the bed beside Adora. “Oh wow, Catra, you look really sick.”

“I’m fine,” Catra hissed. “Mind your own business.”

“Come on, Catra.” Glimmer said firmly, “Sit up and drink this.”

Adora and Bow helped her sit up and she reached a shaking hand out of her wrapping of blankets. Adora saw now that the lacerations on her arms were all in sets of four parallel lines. Melog arranged themself behind her as back support. 

Catra sipped the drink with parched, bloodless lips. “Where’d you get this?” she muttered. She chugged the whole thing before handing the glass back to Glimmer. “Thanks,” she said.

“We should get a healer to look at you,” said Bow. “This is way beyond anything I can treat.”

Catra’s pupils contracted to slits. “No. It’s fine.”

“Seriously, you’ve got a fever and you’re dehydrated.”

“No!” Catra’s shaking got worse. “Adora, tell him. I’m fine.”

“Hang on. Let me see if I can do this.” Adora stood and tried to summon her sword. 

Nothing. 

“Sorry,” she sighed. “I can’t right now.”

Melog chirruped at Catra.

“No! I don’t need a healer.” Catra was nearly in tears.

Bow put a conciliatory hand out. “Catra. I promise it’ll be okay.”

“Kyle! I fucking swear if you tell Shadow Weaver I’m sick, I will kill you in the most painful way possible.” She tried to grab the front of his shirt but missed when Bow jumped back in surprise. She fixed her eyes on Glimmer, “Lonnie! Don’t let him. You’ll get in trouble too! You know you will!” 

The three best friends stared at each other as Catra burrowed back into the blankets.

A beat of silence, then Glimmer said, very quietly, “Why don’t I go get Aunt Casta?” She disappeared.

Melog wiggled around on the bed until they curled around Catra as though she was their kitten. Adora had no idea what to do or say. “What’s wrong with her, Bow?” She whispered.

“I don’t know.”

Glimmer and Casta appeared. “Here we are!” the ruler of Mysticor proclaimed. “Adora, I’m told your friend is ill?”

“Thank you for coming, Your Majesty.” She never knew what to call Casta, so she always erred on the side of formality. She was actually a little uncomfortable that Glimmer hadn’t just gone and found a healer somewhere rather than drag the woman from whatever she was doing. She moved back to the bed. “Catra? You need to come out.”

Far too obediently for Adora’s comfort, Catra emerged from the blankets. “I’m okay.” She tried to sound normal, but her voice was weak and scratchy and her mismatched eyes were glazed over. The expression on her face was the careful neutrality she always tried to show Shadow Weaver.

“It’s nothing. I’m happy to help you, children.” Melog leaped off the bed to give Casta more room. Glimmer's aunt leaned over to repeat Adora’s gesture of pressing her hand on Catra’s forehead. “My dear. You’re burning up.”

“She doesn’t seem to know where she is.” Glimmer whispered.

Catra’s sensitive ears caught the comment because she said. “No, I’m fine. Really. It’s nothing.” she sounded very convincing until she said, “Please, Shadow Weaver, it’s just a cut that got a little infected. I told Kyle and Lonnie not to bother you. I’ll look after it myself.”

“I beg your pardon?” Casta demanded, probably insulted at being taken for the evil sorceress.

Catra went rigid. “I’m sorry.” She urged out of her blankets, trying to jump to attention. The effect was ruined when her knees gave way and Adora had to catch her as she fainted.

Free of her blankets and clad only in a sleeping shirt and shorts, they saw that both her arms and legs were covered in fresh scratches. Adora knew for a fact most of them hadn’t been there the day before, but they all looked very superficial. 

Melog moved forward and grasped the back of the neck of her shirt in their teeth and pulled it back to where Adora and Casta could see that the base of her neck was covered in dozens of gashes in different stages of healing. The high collared shirts Catra favored would have hidden most of them, her hair hid the rest. The deepest of the gashes oozed yellow pus from angry, swollen red and purple mottled skin.

Glimmer covered her mouth in horror, while Bow and Adora laid her on her side so Casta could have a look.

“Poor child,” Casta said. “What happened?” 

“She did it to herself.” Glimmer whispered. “That’s where the chip was.”

Casta examined the cuts. “She has wound fever. I can heal it, but I’d rather take her to Mysticor. All my remedies are there. Didn’t you know she was hurt?” 

Melog grunted something that sounded like an affirmative while Glimmer and Bow shook their heads.

Embarrassed and upset that she hadn’t noticed, Adora said, “Catra...doesn’t like to show weakness.”

Catra chose that moment to stir and try to struggle upright. 

Casta put her hand on Catra’s shoulder. “No, my dear. You stay there.” Although Casta’s tone was kind, Catra shrank away from her touch. “I’m going to have Glimmer teleport us to Mysticor, so I can treat your wounds.” 

“No…” Catra whimpered. “Please.”

At a loss, Casta looked at Adora who wrapped her hand around Catra’s. “I’ll come with you. I won’t leave you.” 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fever dreams are scary.
> 
> TW for implied child abuse

Shadow Weaver allowed Adora to carry Catra to her workroom. Catra clung to the bigger girl as hard as she could. She couldn’t believe that Kyle, Lonnie, and Regelio had tattled. She was in so much trouble.

Something happened and they were in a different place, Catra felt like she’d left her stomach behind. She was glad she hadn’t eaten today.

“Everything is going to be fine,” Adora said softly. “She’s just going to fix that wound on your neck.” 

Adora was an idiot. Shadow Weaver had no patience for sick people, she was going to be furious that Catra had been so stupid.

“Put her here, my dear.” Shadow Weaver said, her voice unwontedly kind. Adora must have done something nice for her. Or maybe she’d gotten a new shipment of wine from one of the cities the Horde had conquered. That always put her in a relatively good mood.

The bench Adora set her down on was soft and gentle hands pulled her shirt off. Her friend gave her a blanket to wrap around herself. 

“Catra? Can you lie down on your stomach?” 

If she hadn’t been so weak, Catra might have refused. This was going to be bad, she knew. As it was she followed instructions. The wound on the back of her neck hurt so much and she knew it was going to hurt to have it cleaned. Maybe if she stayed very still, Shadow Weaver would be quick.

“Are you comfortable?” Shadow Weaver asked, with suspicious solicitude. Catra was cold, but she knew better than to inconvenience her guardian with stupid requests.

“Yes, ma’am,” Catra said. Adora still held her hand and Catra did her best to focus on her friend’s grey eyes. Shadow Weaver summoned a bright light and began to do something to the wound. 

“I’m afraid this might hurt.”

Catra set her teeth at Shadow Weaver's sarcastic warning and determined she wouldn’t make a peep. Maybe if she kept quiet, Shadow Weaver would let Adora stay.

That lasted for about thirty seconds. The pain in her neck flared through her intolerably as Shadow Weaver applied sharp smelling potion to the infected cut. She bit her lips and squeezed Adora’s hands, but much to her humiliation, little squeaks of pain kept fighting their way out.

Shadow Weaver sighed irritably. “The wound is very deep and it will take some time to heal. Look. It's almost down to the bone."

Adora gasped audibly as Shadow Weaver made her look at the ugly infection.

"Adora, I need you to advise me on this. To be honest, since she is so crazed, I think it would be best if I just put the poor thing to sleep.” 

“Noooooo!” shrieked Catra. She tried to leap off the table, but she was nauseous with pain and her legs wouldn’t hold her, so she just fell to the floor, where she scuttled under the table, dragging the blanket with her. “No, please. I’ll be good. Please. I’m sorry. I won't do it again.” She whimpered with pain as she pulled the blanket up to cover her head.

Implacably, Shadow Weaver said, “Adora, can you get her out from under there?” The exasperation in her voice was dangerous. Catra was never going to hear the end of this. Assuming she lived through it and Shadow Weaver didn’t make good on her threat to put her down like a vicious animal. 

Someone else, not Adora, appeared under the table. A cat the same size as herself with a white mane and glowing eyes. It spoke to her in a series of mews and chirps but somehow she understood.

“Peace, child,” it said. “No one wants to harm you. You are ill. You are hurt.”

The creature’s name was Melog, Catra remembered. It was her friend.

“But, Shadow Weaver…” 

“The sorceress will not harm you. I will see to it.” The big cat butted her with its head. “You distress your mate. You distress your family.”

“I don’t have a family.”

“You are fevered and your spirit wanders. You are dreaming of other times. You have me. You have these others. Now, calm yourself. The sorceress will heal you. I won’t let her harm you.”

“Catra? Come on, she didn’t mean it like it sounded.” Adora said urging her to crawl back up onto the padded table. Adora was such an idiot.

Slowly, with shaking limbs, Catra crawled back onto the table to sit trembling with fear and cold. Melog somehow made itself smaller and crawled beside her so she could hug it with one hand while Adora held the other.

"Look at me, Catra."

It wasn't the time for defiance, so Catra did as she was bid. She realized that Shadow Weaver had made herself a new mask: serene and human-looking. Catra wondered what that was about, but she was not going to ask.

"The wound on your neck is very deep. I am going to use a sleep spell on you to make you more comfortable while I work. Is that all right?"

Why was she asking? There must be someone here she was trying to impress. Maybe it was Melog? Maybe she didn't want the magical cat to know she was evil. Reluctantly, she nodded.

At Shadow Weaver’s muttered words, she felt herself slide into a sleep that she honestly wasn’t sure she wanted to awaken from.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casta reflects and Catra overhears

“She’ll sleep for the rest of the afternoon,” Castaspella told Adora as she washed her hands. The blonde girl had chosen to remain in the room the entire time Casta treated Catra’s wounds. It had been a more extensive process than she’d originally thought it would be. The cat-child’s fine fur pelt had hidden the true depth of the cuts. It was no wonder Catra had lapsed into fever dreams and the pain must have been considerable. Casta had had to open one of the lacerations up completely to allow it to drain and the sorceress was very glad she’d bespelled the girl before attempting it. “She’ll need some more potions to support that wound healing and she should not be allowed out of bed for at least three days.” 

Adora looked worriedly at her friend, asleep on the narrow infirmary bed. “Can I stay with her?” she asked, “I promised her I wouldn’t leave her alone.” Her voice was young and sad.

Not for the first time, Casta felt a stab of pain at being reminded that Adora, who most people knew as She Ra, Rebel Hero and Savior of Etheria, was hardly more than a child. 

“I won’t get in the way, and if you tell me what to do, I can help.” the young woman seemed to think she needed to talk Casta into it. 

Casta cut her off before she could start. “Of course you may stay. We’ll put the three of you in the room next to mine. The one Glimmer uses.”

The sick woman's magical guardian touched its nose to Casta’s hand and she felt a pleasant buzzing jolt of magical energy. Possibly a sign of approval. 

“Thank you,” Adora said sincerely, her smile lighting up her face. “I’m sorry Catra was being such a handful.”

“She was fevered. It’s not uncommon,” the sorceress said. She decided she had enough of the young woman’s trust to broach the topic of Catra’s delirious raving “Was she Shadow Weaver’s ward, too?” 

“Yes,” Adora replied, sitting next to her friend’s still form. She sighed and smoothed back Catra’s hair, her face troubled. “I guess that’s why she kept thinking you were her.”

“Why was she so afraid?” Casta asked as gently as she could, although she knew she was going to hate the answer. 

“We always tried to take care of ourselves if we got sick or hurt. Shadow Weaver didn’t like sick people. She’d get really angry if you allowed yourself to get sick enough to need treatment.”

“Ah.” Casta shifted a little, unsure how to frame the question. “But...why was she so terrified of going to sleep?”

The young woman’s jaw tightened, “Shadow Weaver talked about her like that sometimes. Like she was a pet. She’d say I better keep her under control or she was going to have to have her put to sleep. You know...like...killed.”

“I see.” When Glimmer had turned up this afternoon to ask for her help with the former Horde soldier, Casta had only come reluctantly. She was not at all sure if the relationship between Adora and Catra was wise and she hoped that it would simply burn out the way so many young relationships did. She wondered how much this Catra could honestly change.

After hearing the poor thing beg for her life in the voice of a five-year-old child, she found herself reflecting that this Catra may not have had much choice. She decided that she would at least give Catra the benefit of the doubt for now.

Casta looked down at Catra’s sleeping form. She was so tiny--far tinier than Casta would have expected the infamous Horde Officer to be. While treating her, Casta had noticed many fine scars hidden under her fur. Just to be sure she wasn’t missing anything, she had done a deep magical exam and found disturbing things. “Did Shadow Weaver ever use dark magic to punish you?”

Adora bit her lip. “Not me so much. But, yes, she would use magic on Catra.”

“Often?”

“No. Not often.” Adora said. “Maybe a few times a month.”

The sorceress willed herself not to react to that and decided to change the subject. “Would you like to carry her to the guest room? I can send a message to Glimmer to send a change of clothes for you both.” 

Adora’s cheeks flared. “That would be great.” She indicated her sweaty shirt, “I was going to change, but when I got back from my run, Catra was so sick, I forgot.”

Casta smiled, relieved that Adora’s state of dishabille was merely a reflection of concern for her friend and not a new fashion trend that was catching on with the youngsters. 

* * *

The sound of running water and voices woke Catra. She had no idea where she was; the pillow under her head smelled unfamiliar and the bed she lay on was much softer even than Adora’s. She opened her eyes to slits in case someone was watching her. She didn’t want anyone to realize she was awake before she was ready.

“Thanks, Glimmer. I appreciate it. I was really disgusting.” That was Adora’s voice; Catra relaxed marginally. The sound of the running water and her voice had an echo to it: she must be in the shower. A warm presence at her back let her know Melog was with her too. Wherever she was, she must be safe.

Glimmer replied, “No problem. Sorry, I took so long, but Aunt Casta ambushed me--she insisted I stop and talk to her first. How’s Catra?”

“Still asleep last I checked. Will you go look and see if she’s okay?”

Catra couldn’t see where she was, but she heard Glimmer’s footsteps. She could feel her watching for a moment. “Catra?” she whispered.

Catra feigned sleep. A bone-deep exhaustion weighed her down, so it wasn’t difficult to keep still. 

“Yeah, she’s still out of it,” Glimmer said. Her footsteps receded until her shoes clicked on tile. “I think Aunt Casta’s really upset.”

“She seemed sort of weird about the whole thing,” agreed Adora. “After you left it got worse.”

“Worse? How?”

“Oh…” Adora hesitated as though weighing up what to say. “Just more of the same, but worse. What I don’t understand is how she got sick so fast and I didn’t even notice! Your aunt said it was almost to the bone. She had to put a sleep spell on her so she could even get near it.”

Catra cringed inwardly, feeling like she wanted to crawl out of her skin. They must have found out about what she’d done to the back of her neck. It still hurt a lot, but less than yesterday. Although she wanted to reach up and touch it, she feared they would hear her moving around, and then they’d want to ask her about it. Melog had been trying to convince her to tell someone for about a week now but no one needed to know she couldn’t take care of herself. Bad enough that she was having some sort of mental breakdown. 

Vaguely she remembered having some seriously unpleasant Shadow Weaver dreams. Something about being sick, not wanting Shadow Weaver to know, and then Shadow Weaver threatening to kill her. Same shit, different day.

“Didn’t you tell me once that you were taught to hide being sick?” Glimmer asked Adora.

“Yes, but she never hid it from me.”

Adora was still an idiot. The fact was, Catra’s fur covered up most cuts and bruises and if pain made her irritable, it wasn’t like that was anything new. 

Sleep beckoned again and Catra floated on the edge of consciousness. She nearly allowed herself to slip under before Glimmer began speaking in almost a whisper. Years of living and sleeping in a bunk room had taught Catra that people talking in normal tones were safe and she could sleep, but when they started to whisper, you needed to pay attention. 

“Um…” Glimmer’s voice was barely audible over the running of the shower. “Did she tell you about getting dizzy, sometimes?”

Catra went rigid, holding her breath. Was the sparkly bitch going to just spill everything Catra had told her? 

Melog put its head on her hip. “Trust,” it purred at her. The sound soothed her nerves; Catra lost the urge to jump up and call Glimmer out right then. 

“What? No.”

“Since Horde Prime’s ship. She told me that ever since he threw her off the platform, she’s having a little trouble with heights.”

 _A little trouble with heights._ Catra could live with that. 

“No.” The water turned off. “We...haven’t talked about that at all.” Her voice sounded low and sad but fortunately, Adora didn’t whisper and Catra relaxed and let herself doze while still paying some attention to the conversation.

“Adora? What? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Just...It was really bad.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

More footsteps. Catra opened her eyes a crack. Adora’s towel wrapped form appeared in Catra’s line of vision for a moment. She peered at Catra, seemingly to make sure she still slept, before grabbing a pile of neatly folded clothes and heading back the way she came.

“Maybe?” Adora’s voice sounded muffled as if she was pulling her shirt over her head.

“Well, what happened after Prime zapped the communicators?”

“They brought Catra out.” A pause, then a shaky breath. “Horde Prime wanted to exchange her for She Ra. I’m not sure how he thought that was going to work. I told him it wasn’t happening and that’s when he made us fight.” Adora’s voice broke on the last word and she stopped talking. Catra wished she could see her face. 

Finally, she went on, “Somewhere in the fight, I damaged the chip and I could see she was still in there. I kept trying to reach her. And then, when I thought I was getting to her, Prime took her over. He had her stand right at the edge and she just leaned back into empty space.”

“She said you jumped down after her.”

“Yeah. I did. It was a longer fall than I thought, I think I broke my legs. I thought she was dead. I thought we were all dead, honestly.” 

Catra hadn’t known her friend had injured herself in the fall. She just remembered the moment Adora had held her. She knew she was dying at last. At that point, it hadn't mattered if it was real or not; if Adora was going to hold her as she died, that was just fine.

“So, how did you get She Ra to come back?” Glimmer asked.

“I don’t know. It’s just...I was so scared for her. And then I realized how much I needed Catra to be okay. You know? I wanted a chance to make up for all of the stuff that went on between us. I just needed her to know that I cared about her. Horde Prime was going on and on about some nonsense and I wasn’t listening at all. All I could think of was that she wouldn’t know I still loved her. And then...whoosh! I’m in a tiara.”

Glimmer chuckled at that, “It really is weird that being a Princess is contagious.”

That sounded like an old in-joke the two shared. Catra winced, it made her feel on the outside again.

The next minute Glimmer’s voice sobered, “I’m really worried about her.”

“Me too. What else did she say when you talked to her?”

Catra waited again for Glimmer to tell Adora about their entire conversation, cursing herself for having confided in anyone about this. She didn’t want Adora walking on eggshells around her, waiting every second for her to lose her mind. She didn’t want Adora to know how weak she really was.

“Just that Horde Prime spent a lot of time messing with her mind. I don’t know what kind of shape I’d have been in after what she went through.” 

“Catra’s always been tougher than me,” Adora said quietly. “When we were growing up, I admired her so much. We’d get caught doing something we shouldn’t and I’d be so scared about it. Catra would just...I don’t know...take whatever happened. She was always so strong. I just always wanted to be like her. She had no fear of anything.”

Those words hit Catra like a gut punch. Adora _admired_ her? Wanted to be like her? That had never occurred to her before. Everyone always thought of Adora as the strong one.

“Yeah,” Glimmer said softly. 

Catra heard both of them come back into the room. The scrape of furniture against the floor. They were both quiet for a moment.

"Hey, Glimmer? When I told you I wanted to go back for her, I really expected that you were going to have problems with it, but you just didn't. Why?"

Actually, Catra had really wanted to ask them that. She never could figure out how Adora talked them all into it.

“We talked a lot when we were on Prime’s ship.” Glimmer’s voice was back to that barely audible murmur. “Prime wanted to keep me completely isolated. He wanted me to lose my mind, I think. She just kept coming back. We’d argue and I’d say something mean--but she’d come back the next day. I knew she was going against Prime's orders. She said she was bored, and I know she was lonely, but I think she really was trying to make things a little better for me. When I told her about Mara's ship, I thought that we were done because she went and told Prime."

"What do you think changed her mind?"

"I've been thinking about this, actually. I really wonder if she'd been planning to save me the whole time. The next time I saw her, she had this plan all worked out. She had spent all the time we were there learning Prime's ship. She knew how to work the coms and the transporter thing; how to get me to you.

If she hadn't been acting totally loyal to Prime, it would never have worked and I wouldn't be here. She never let me thank her. She said she was only trying to save you."

Adora laughed softly, “She hates to be caught doing nice things.” A pause, then, “I guess that’s another thing we can blame Shadow Weaver for.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chicken soup for Catra's soul.

The next time Catra woke, the sky outside the window was dark. The pain in her neck had been a lot better, but now it was growing again. Melog was pressed against her whole side to her right and Adora was on her left, sitting on top of the covers, reading.

“Hey,” Catra said sleepily, opening her eyes to slits. “What’s going on?” 

“You’ve been sick. Do you remember?” Adora’s smile was tinged with worry. “You slept all day.”

“Yeah...I think?” She remembered going to bed last night. And then waking up feeling terrible. Melog had been arguing with her to tell someone about it, but Catra had told him she just needed rest and had gone back to sleep. After that, the day had been a jumble of bad dreams and now it looked like a lot of the things she thought were fever dreams might have actually happened. 

Cara looked around at the unfamiliar room. “Where are we?” She tried to move to sit up. Alarmingly, her body seemed like it didn’t want to cooperate, her limbs felt weighted down as if someone had increased the gravity. Every muscle ached in protest at each movement. The last time she had felt this bad was when she woke up on Darla. 

“Mystacor,” Adora told her. “We had to bring you here to treat that wound on your neck.” 

“Wound?” Slowly, Catra touched the back of her neck, a thick dressing of some kind extended from the base of her neck to her nape. So they had seen it. 

Catra didn’t know what to say. Gingerly, she turned to face Adora, trying to gauge how angry her girlfriend might be.

Adora’s expression seemed more worried than angry, much to Catra’s relief. “How do you feel?” she asked. 

“Shitty.”

“I bet.” Adora frowned pensively and fiddled with the book sitting in her lap. She sighed like she was trying to figure out how to say something.

“What’s the matter?” Catra asked tightly, hoping she could avoid any drama until she felt better. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?” Honestly, there was a lot Melog had been on her case to tell Adora, for the last week.

“That you were sick?” The hurt and disappointment on Adora’s face seemed far out of proportion to the situation to Catra.

“I don’t know. I didn’t know it had gotten so bad.” Catra said. She struggled to sit up, deciding this wasn’t a conversation she was intended to have with Adora looming over her. When Adora held out her hand, Catra took it to lever herself up.

“But how did you hurt yourself? Don’t you dare tell me you picked it up sparring,” Adora didn’t quite shout.

Catra couldn’t bear the disappointment in her girlfriend's voice. “Don’t ask questions if you already have the answers.” Her words came out harsher than she intended. Melog turned its head towards her, its mane turning red and flattening its ears. “Okay, fine. I did it.” She growled. 

Adora drew in a long breath. “Why?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Sitting up made Catra feel both dizzy and vaguely nauseous.

For a moment, Catra thought Adora was going to demand answers. The other woman opened her mouth, but then Adora’s face softened, as though taking in how bad off Catra was. 

“Sorry, you’re right. We’ll talk about it later.” Adora hesitated a minute, looking for some way to change the subject. “Are you hungry?”

“Sort of.” The nausea she felt might be hunger, but she couldn’t think of a single thing she wanted to try to choke down. 

“Do you want to try some soup?”

“What’s soup?” 

“They put a bunch of food into water and boil it.”

“Oh boy. That sounds super tasty,” Catra sighed. But then because Adora looked so disappointed she relented. “Okay, I’ll try it.” 

“Okay. Stay put.” Adora jumped up and went to a small cart covered with a white cloth where a covered silver dish rested on a stand that held it over a small candle. When Adora removed the cover, and filled the bowl, the most amazing smell filled Catra’s nose. 

“What is that?” 

With a triumphant flourish, Adora handed the half-full bowl and the spoon to Catra. “Chicken Soup!” 

For the past month, Catra had been trying all of the food at the many victory celebrations around Etheria for the past month, but nothing like this had ever been put in front of her. This was the best thing she had ever smelled.

“It’s got some kind of healing power, I guess. And everyone’s supposed to eat it when they’re sick. Glimmer’s Aunt told them to bring it up from the kitchens.”

Catra dipped her spoon into the golden broth and brought it to her lips, sipping delicately as she usually did when trying one of the new foods. She had had a couple of nasty surprises, like what Perfuma called “salad”. 

This, however, was a surprise of the most pleasant kind. It tasted almost exactly the way it smelled but salty. The savory liquid soothed her throat and warmed her edgy stomach. Bits of meat and vegetables floated around along with some flat things she couldn’t identify. She didn’t care what they were, only that they were delicious and filling. Oddly, it vaguely reminded her of the grey ration bars that she preferred, but a million times better.

“Oh,” she said. “Wow.” Disregarding her spoon she opted instead to tip up the bowl and drink out of it. In about thirty seconds, Catra held up her empty bowl.“Is there more?” she asked, looking up at Adora with wide pleading eyes. “Please?”

Adora's face lit up in delight. “They sent up a whole bunch.” She took the empty bowl and returned to the cart to refill it. 

“Well, that’s mine. I don’t know what you’re going to eat.” Catra teased as Adora handed her a second serving. Again, Catra just drank it straight from the bowl; she hadn’t eaten since yesterday and the soup sated both her hunger and her thirst. The second one went down as easily as the first.

Someone knocked on the door, interrupting Catra’s pure enjoyment at this magical new food. Adora leaped off the bed to answer it. 

Glimmer’s Aunt Casta stood at the door. “May I come in and check on our patient?” she asked graciously.

“Yes. Please.” Adora opened the door wider and stood aside to let Casta come in. 

“Oh, good, you’ve eaten.” The dark-haired sorceress smiled broadly at Catra who sat up in bed with the bowl in hand. “How do you like the soup?”

“It’s the best thing I have ever tasted,” Catra said, honestly, although she felt awkward about sitting in bed while the woman spoke to her.

That seemed to please the woman and she smiled. “Thank you. It’s my own recipe. Are you comfortable?”

That question felt familiar. Catra had a sudden strange memory of Shadow Weaver asking her something like that, but she couldn’t think why. “Yes, ma’am.” Her head hurt, she ached all over and the sharp pain in the deep gashes had been steadily growing since she woke up, but what else was she supposed to say?

“I’d like to take a look at the wound on your neck. Is that all right?”

It was not all right. It was not all right at all. The sorceress waited for an answer, but Catra couldn’t speak. Casta took a step towards her and Catra’s heart thumped as hard as it ever did in battle. Involuntarily she backed up on the bed, pressing herself into Melog who lounged next to her. She had met Casta exactly once; when they went to Mystacor to obtain the Failsafe. She didn’t want this woman touching her. She was glad the blanket hid her bushy tail. 

“Catra?” Adora’s voice cut through the roaring in Catra’s ears. “Catra. Calm down, we’re doing this.” She said it firmly, implacably. “You’re going to sit still and let her do this and it will be fine.” She sat on the bed, crossed legged so that she faced Catra, her grey eyes worried. 

Like a drowning woman, Catra clutched at Adora’s hands and bent her forehead down to touch them, so that the back of her neck was bared. “Go ahead.” Her voice sounded high and thin to her own ears. She fought her panic down, reminding herself that she had been through far worse. 

“Would you like something to make it hurt less while I do this?” Casta asked.

Catra’s head popped back up, to stare at the woman. Adora voiced the surprise they shared. “That’s a thing?” she asked. 

The older woman’s mouth hardened, looking angry. Catra cursed herself; it wasn’t a great idea to piss off the person who was trying to patch her up. The expression was gone after a second, dissolving into sadness. “Have neither of you seen a healer before?”

Catra stared at Adora who looked as blank as Catra felt. Finally, Adora spoke, “Well, Shadow Weaver always looked after us if we couldn’t treat it ourselves.”

The little noise of disgust Casta made in her throat stopped Adora’s explanation. “The answer is ‘no’, in that case. Even when she  _ was  _ Light Spinner, she considered healing and healing magics beneath her.” She pulled a small purple vial out of her pocket. “Here, drink this.”

The potion was bitter going down and for a minute Catra thought it was going to make a reappearance. Adora gave her a glass of water.

Nothing. Her neck still hurt like a bitch, but she thought it was nice of Casta to try. 

Glimmer’s Aunt sat down in the chair beside the bed. “It takes a moment to work. I can wait.” 

Catra slowly unwound her hands from Adora’s and leaned back against the headboard, careful to avoid putting any pressure on the back of her neck.

Casta had a small bag in her hand. Out of it she took a ball of string and two needles. The string seemed to be tied to one of the needles by a series of loops and there was a piece of fabric attached somehow. The other needle was empty. She inserted the empty needle into the first loop of string on the full needle and did a complicated little maneuver with one of her fingers that somehow transferred the loop to the empty one. When she’d transferred the whole row, she turned the needles around and started again. The movement of string and needles were mesmerizing.

After she’s done this twice, Catra realized that the sorceress was creating the fabric out of the string. “What is that?” she asked, stunned by the concept. Her mouth was oddly numb and the words sounded slurred.

Casta looked up from her task. “I’m knitting a sweater for my brother.” She smiled at Catra. “You look like you’re more comfortable.”

Comfortable? Yes, she  _ was _ comfortable. Adora sat cross-legged on the bed, next to her Melog. The soft mattress cradled her body and the heavy covers reminded her of the time Scorpia had wrapped her up in a blanket to make her feel safe. She didn’t think she could be anywhere more comfortable. The burning ache in her neck had receded into the distance and she felt a slow smile creep over her face. “Yeah…” 

“Can I have a look?”

“Okay.” It felt strange but not scary this time to lean forward into Adora’s arms and let Casta take the dressing off. The sharp smelling potion stung but the fuzziness in her head made it easier to bear. The few times that the pain made it through that insulating wall, she practiced the breathing Perfuma had told her about and it actually helped.

“This looks much better,” Casta said approvingly as she applied a fresh dressing. “Now, you need to stay in bed tomorrow and the next day. You need to let your body devote energy to healing.”

“Oh. Okay.” Catra sat up slowly. The world had taken on a soft focus. “You’re really pretty,” she said to the dark eyed woman. 

“Thank you, my dear.” Gracefully, Cast stood. She washed her hands while Adora tidied up from the task and Catra purred contentedly in time with Melog.

When she came back into the room, Catra asked, “Hey...How did you know Shadow Weaver?” She’d gotten the idea they’d known each other when they had searched for the Fail Safe.

Casta hesitated, then, “She was once known as Light Spinner. My brother’s teacher. She...saw talent in him.” The woman shrugged her shoulders and smiled slightly. “Needless to say, she never saw any promise in myself.” Casta shuddered. “Now, I count myself lucky that she never found me talented enough for her attention, but at the time it was very hard.” 

“It doesn’t sound like you liked her very much,” Catra muttered.

“Ah. No.” Casta’s face hardened. “There was never any love lost between us.”

“She didn’t like me much either. Adora was her favorite.” Adora blushed bright red and Catra smiled at her, gently. “S’okay. It’s true. But she saved me, at the end. She told me she was proud of me. I’m not sure what that means.”

“I...don’t know either.” Adora looked away. “I try not to think about her.”

Casta stood. “I’ll leave you girls now,” she said. “If you need anything, knock on my door. I’m right next to you.”

“Um…” Catra suddenly realized she had no idea what to call Casta and settled on. “Excuse me?”

“Yes, dear?” Casta stopped.

“Thank you,” she said, meaning it. “I really appreciate it.”

“We’ll talk later, Catra.” Casta smiled at them before gently pulling the door closed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra learns to knit

After Casta left, Adora sat down on the bed next to Catra who sat propped up with pillows and Melog. “Do you want more soup?” 

“Is there more?” Catra asked. Her smile was wide and relaxed and her eyelids drooped like she was ready to go back to sleep. 

Adora filled the bowl, delighted to have found a food that Catra liked this much. All month she had been trying to find something that elicited this kind of reaction. 

“Thanks.” 

Adora got herself one and resumed her seat next to Catra. She drank hers straight from the bowl too.

“So...why am I supposed to stay in bed tomorrow?” Catra spoke slowly, as though she had to concentrate hard on the words. She finished her soup and set it on the table by the bed.

“Casta said you have a bad infection in those cuts.” 

“Oh.”

Deciding to take a chance since Casta’s potion seemed to make Catra so peaceable, Adora decided to press her a little. “The other night when I put my hand on your back. Is that why you clawed me? Did I hurt you?”

“It was that green pool. It was like when he...” Catra spoke softly, trailing off at the end. She sniffed and wiped her eye with the heel of her hand. “And then I felt someone touch the back of my neck. It hurt. I thought it was Prime. It was like I was there again. I’m sorry.” She reached out to stroke Adora’s face. 

“It’s okay. It’s pretty much gone now.” Adora shrugged, then took Catra’s hand and kissed her palm. 

Catra giggled. “Hey, no fair. I am in no shape for that.”

Adora could not remember the last time Catra had giggled. She wanted to hear it again, so she kissed the inside of her wrist and was rewarded with a sound that was half purr, half laugh. “Quit, it,” Catra said, “that tickles.”

“Okay.” Thrilled by her find, Adora desisted but filed away the marvelous fact that Catra was still ticklish for later use.

Too soon, Catra’s eyes drooped closed and Adora knew she’d wasted her opportunity to get her to talk. 

Melog stretched, stood up, and resettled on the bed. In response, Catra snuggled into a ball with her head resting on Adora’s thigh. The young woman was glad that Melog didn’t normally sleep in bed with them, but she understood that right now Catra probably needed both of them. 

When Adora thought about how Shadow Weaver would have reacted to this, she shuddered. Catra had needed stitches once and she’d never talked about it, beyond saying that Shadow Weaver had been angry with her. When it was healed she’d taken the stitches out herself.

Carefully avoiding touching the dressing on the back of Catra’s neck, Adora stroked the soft fur of her ears and throat, savoring the moment of peace. 

The trackpad sitting on the table jingled. Adora picked it up to answer it. “Hey, Glimmer. What’s up?”

“How’s Catra?” Glimmer asked.

Adora angled the device so Glimmer could see her. “Asleep.”

“She really is cute.” Bow said, poking his head into the screen and grinning.

Apparently, Catra was awake enough to listen, because she growled, “not asleep. Not cute,” without opening her eyes.

“So, what do you need?” Adora asked, hoping they weren’t calling to tell her about some earth-shattering emergency.

“Darla just got a communication from off-world, according to Entrapta,” Glimmer said. Darla was currently parked at Dryl where she was getting a well-deserved upgrade of all her systems. “She said they want to meet with ‘The Hero of Etheria’. Tomorrow. And, of course, this being Entrapta, she already said, ‘sure.’”

“Of course she did.” Adora covered her face in exasperation. The last thing she wanted to do was leave Catra. The second to last thing was to go meet with some off-worlders right now when She Ra was apparently on vacation. 

Bow jumped in, “So, we thought that I could come out there and keep Catra company and you and Glimmer could go to the meet and greet for a couple of hours.”

Melog chittered at them.

Catra opened one eye. “S’okay, Arrow Boy,” she slurred. “Melog says he’ll stay and come get you if I need somebody.”

“Are you sure?” asked Adora.

“Yeah. Fine.” 

Adora sighed, wishing there was a way around it. “Great. Now I have to get up early.”

* * *

When Castaspella arrived in the morning to check on her guests, her niece Glimmer was already there, apparently to take Adora away.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay if I go?” Adora was asking Catra.

The smaller girl rolled her eyes. “I don’t need a babysitter.” 

“Where are you going?” Casta asked Glimmer after giving her a hug in greeting.

“We’re going to meet with some off-worlders. I think they want to open trade negotiations. Anyway, they requested to meet with me and Adora.” Glimmer said.

Not for the first time, Casta wished that Micah felt up to taking on his duties as king. Unfortunately, given his health after over ten years on Beast Island, the best he could do was act as an advisor to the young queen. It was so unfair to her.

“Well, I wish you success, Your Majesty,” Casta said, fondly.

Glimmer’s cheeks colored at her Aunt using her formal address, “Thanks, Aunt Casta.”

It also seemed that if Adora was going to be gone for a while, Casta could perhaps spend some time with her niece's new friend. “I need to change that dressing again, Catra. Would you prefer that Adora stay for it?” Given what little she’d learned about the child, she felt she’d better be direct.

Apparently, both girls had forgotten about it. They looked at each other, then Catra took a deep breath and said, “You and Sparkles go on, Adora. You’ll be late if you hang around much longer.” 

“Oh, but…”

“No. It’s fine,” Catra said firmly. “It’s not like I’m dying or anything. I don’t need you worrying about it. Melog will stay.”

Reluctance evident all over her face, Adora nodded her assent. “Send Melog if you need me? Promise?”

The cat-child’s face softened, her smile becoming open and sweet. “Promise.”

Adora and Glimmer bent to hug Catra and then they blinked out.

Catra turned a wary eye towards Casta. “So...um...I guess you want to do this?”

“I brought some more potion if you want that,” Casta said. “Although many people find they don’t like to be too muddled.”

“What do you think?” Catra asked Melog. The creature meowed back, and Catra said, “I think it’ll be okay? It feels better today.” 

The girl’s magic guardian fixed Casta with a look that clearly conveyed that she was to treat their ward with care.

Putting her supplies on the bed, Casta moved to sit behind her. As Casta took off the dressing, she could feel Catra’s fine trembling and her claws were sunk deeply into the mattress. Casta began to slowly pull the packing out of the wound. The girl hissed and Melog put one heavy paw on her legs.

“Should I stop?” Casta asked.

Through gritted teeth, Catra said, “No. It’s okay. Just...hurry.”

“Of course.” 

Moving with a little more purpose, Casta pulled all the packing out, noting with satisfaction that the wound looked much better. Instead of packing it, she just covered it.

When she was done, Catra asked, “So. Am I really supposed to stay in bed today?”

“Yes,” Casta said firmly. She stood up and put the used dressing on the cart for one of the staff to tidy up. 

The rolled eyes and the heavy sigh from the teenager were so refreshingly appropriate for someone her age that Casta gave a strictly internal cheer. To Catra she merely said, “Would you like me to find you something to read?” 

The girl shrugged, “I’m not really much of a reader,” she admitted. “Mermista sent some books that Adora was reading, but they’re not really my thing.”

“Well, we have an extensive library. I’m sure we can find something to entertain you. What do you like?”

“I...don't actually know,” Catra said it slowly, as though realizing something. “I honestly don’t know what I like to do.” She looked down at her hands, “I liked to draw sometimes, but I haven’t done that since I was a kid.” She spoke even more quietly, “Shadow Weaver always told me it was a waste of time. Of course, most of the time, I was the waste of time.”

Once again, this child turned Cata’s heart inside out. She remembered Shadow Weaver’s single-mindedness, her disdain of anyone, or anything “unproductive.” 

“Shadow Weaver was an evil witch,” Casta muttered to herself as she walked into the bathroom to wash her hands. “And I’m so glad she’s dead.”

When she returned Catra stared at her with huge mismatched eyes filled with tears. “What did you just say?”

Casta cursed herself. It wasn’t fair to pile her issues onto Catra’s thin shoulders and she truly had not meant to speak ill of the only mother the child had. She’d forgotten how sensitive ears like Catra’s could be.

“My dear, I’m…”

Before Casta could apologize, Catra’s face crumpled and she began to sob. “I’m glad she’s dead too. Is that wrong?”

“Oh, my dear child.” Casta instinctively sat on the bed and wrapped her arms around Catra. “Not at all.”

“I hated her so much, but now she’s dead and…” 

“And no one wants to speak ill of her.” Casta sighed. “Yes.”

“And the last thing she said to me was that she was proud of me. But the only time she ever said anything like that was so she could use me to get what she wanted and…” the rest of Catra’s words were lost to crying into Casta’s shoulder.

“Shh.” Casta soothed her like she would have her niece. After a while, Catra stopped trying to talk and let Casta just rock her. 

After a long time, the child ceased her tears and tensed up. Casta took the hint and drew back.

“Um...sorry,” muttered Catra, looking mortified.

“Not to worry.” Casta stood up and got a cold washcloth so Catra could clean the tears from her face. “Better?”

“Yes.”  


The memory of how Shadow Weaver had grabbed Catra in the tunnels beneath Mystacor came to Casta’s mind suddenly. The way Catra had struggled and leaped away with an involuntary shout made too much sense.

“Listen to me, Catra.” Casta said firmly, “Don’t ever think that you are a bad person for how you feel about Shadow Weaver. You did not deserve how she treated you.”

“But she saved Adora and me,” whispered Catra.

“And that makes mourning her or even remembering her complicated.” More tears started down Catra’s face and Casta took the washcloth and wiped them away. “Have you ever heard of Necromancy, Catra?”

“No.”

Casta took a long breath, before speaking in a very low voice “It is the darkest of dark sorceries. They say a Necromancer can resurrect the dead to do their bidding or to foretell fate. We have books on it, hidden in deep tunnels and I have taken vows to never use that knowledge.”

Catra stared at her, transfixed.

“There are days when I consider those books. When I consider abandoning my vows and my good sense to seek out that power. And do you know what I would do with it? If I had that power, I believe I would resurrect Shadow Weaver so that I could murder her with my own hands.” Casta looked away. “And I hate knowing that woman makes my mind even go there.”

“But what about forgiveness?” Catra asked softly.

“One day,” Casta said. “Maybe. But I won’t forget the harm she did just because she’s dead and I won’t make her into a good person in my memory. Because she wasn’t.”

Catra smiled tentatively, “You were the one who believed me when I said that Shadow Weaver knew more about the Failsafe than she said.”

“And you were the one clever enough to ask the right questions,” Casta said. “But come now, enough of this.” She wiped Catra’s face one last time. “You are supposed to be resting, and this isn’t restful. I can keep you company for a little while longer if you like, but I have meetings this afternoon. What can I do to make it easier for you until your friends get back?”

Catra seemed to consider, then she asked very quietly, “Um...do you think you can show me that thing you were doing last night? The thing with the string?”

“You mean you’d like me to teach you how to knit?” Casta asked, astonished.

Shifting around nervously, Catra said, “Yes. I mean if you don’t have time, that’s okay. It does look sort of hard, but I learn fast and…”

Casta laughed gently, “Let me just run next door to my room and get some yarn and some needles.”

* * *

“I hope Aunt Casta isn’t driving Catra crazy,” Glimmer said as they materialized outside of Catra’s room. 

“I hope Catra actually stayed in bed.” Muttered Adora.

The negotiations had turned out to be far less onerous than they’d feared since the off-worlders who had signalled them turned out to be the Star siblings. Adora was sad that Catra hadn’t been there since the Star siblings were all very interested as to what had happened to Adora’s complicated “not-friend”.

As an added bonus, She Ra had appeared on demand this time. Unfortunately, that left a puzzle--she still didn’t understand why She Ra hadn’t turned up when Catra could have used her healing magic. She wondered if perhaps she should ask Glimmer's Aunt.

The door to the room was open by an inch and they could hear voices.

“So...um...Aunt Casta?” Catra’s voice asked.

Glimmer and Adora stopped cold, staring at each other. Glimmer mouthed “Aunt Casta?” at the astonished Adora.

“Yes, Catra?” The woman’s voice was serene and full of good humor.

“I don’t know what happened here. I’ve got a hole in it somehow. What do I do?”

“That’s just a dropped stitch. The best thing you can do is unravel those rows. Here. Take the needle out like that. Yes. And then pull this part.” She paused, then, “Now, take this needle and slide them back into those stitches and you can start over. There’s no mistake in knitting you can’t undo. That’s one reason I like it so much."

“Did we just fall into a parallel universe?” whispered Glimmer. “Because I swear Aunt Casta’s teaching her how to knit.”

“Oh, good,” Adora whispered, faintly. “You hear that too. I thought I was just losing my mind.”

“Sparkles! Adora! You know, I can hear you lurking out there!” Catra called out. “If you want any soup, you're out of luck. You’ll have to go down to the kitchen to get it yourself. But we did save you some cake.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra dreams and then talks about her dreams.
> 
> TW for self harm

_The green pool beckoned. Prime ran his talon along Catra’s collar bone and under her chin. He brushed his thumb against her lips. A purr rose from her own throat, appalling her. His hands were gentle. Her spirit shrank away from him in horror and disgust, even as her flesh responded with pleasure. She prostrated herself before him, and poison honey dripped from her lips as she praised him._

_Prime’s light flooded her being. She ached to kick, to thrash, to bite, to claw, to scream, but that terrible light suppressed her will, enthralled her body. Even tears were denied her. Under that light, she was powerless._

_“Adora came for you. As you said, she is predictable.”_

_No._

_Adora would never come back for her. It was a trick, a game. Adora left her. Adora had escaped with her friends._

_Like one of Entrapta’s bots, Catra did as she was programmed._

_“Hello, Adora.”_

_This wasn’t real. None of this was real._

_The pain was real, and Catra laughed. She fell through the gloom, shattering like glass. The ground was so cold, and she was so tired._

_Adora held her as she breathed her last._

_“Why did you come back? We both know I don’t matter.” And that was the truth of Catra’s soul._

_“You matter to me!”_

_Her vision ebbed to grey, then black, and she knew she was dying. She welcomed it as she would welcome the onset of sleep. The Void that received her was gentle and warm, and she knew that Prime’s light could not find her here. It cradled her, and it seemed that at last, she was safe._

_“Come on, Catra, you’re not done...not yet,” A voice entreated from the world of light._

_“NO!” She didn’t want to return. The light burned, and she could hide nothing._

_“We’re going home.” The golden light told her._

_The light lied. Catra has only ever had one home, and she gave that up a long time ago. For one moment, she longed for the light that warmed rather than burned._

_Once again, she fell. She fell into a body in agony, a bag of bone, gristle, and meat that was thrown through the air and tossed around onto someone’s back. Muscles and blood vessels were shredded by sharp edges of fragmented bone. Like dark magic, the pain electrified her nerves. She could neither move nor cry out; her universe reduced to a red flood of suffering. She waited through the pain for the darkness to come again. It never did, only that great golden light._

_And she was lost, for Prime sees all._

“Catra?” 

Confused and frightened, Catra grabbed the hand that shook her. In the darkness, she could see Adora’s worried face. 

“Catra,” Adora whispered. “You’re dreaming.” With the other hand, she gently stroked the side of Catra’s face, brushing her thumb over her lips. 

All of Catra’s fur stood on end as she threw herself out of the unfamiliar bed and away from the other woman. She stood in the middle of the room, bushy-tailed and panting.

“No,” she whispered. “This isn’t real. You aren’t real.” It _couldn’t_ be real. She backed towards the door. It would be locked, of course, but she would try. Prime had played this scenario out so many times that Catra knew the script by heart. She wanted to stop going along with it, but she only knew one way.

She reached up to the back of her neck. Thick padding protected the chip from her claws, but that didn’t matter. With a quick swipe, she shredded it. It hurt, and the pain was welcome. Her hand came away sticky, and a warm trickle made her back itch.

“CATRA! Stop!” Adora yelled.

Something hit Catra from the side, and she went down to the floor, under the weight of an enormous beast that chittered and mewled. 

“Granddaughter. Stop. You do yourself harm,” it said. 

A mournful little moan sprang from her lips, and she buried her face in Melog’s pelt. 

“Catra, you’re bleeding again.” Adora’s voice sounded grim. “Aaaaand...No She-Ra. Shit. She was there fucking yesterday when it didn’t matter! What the fucking absolute _fuck_?” 

The nonsense that Adora spewed in her angry exasperation made Catra both chuckle and sob with relief even as she wiped her face on Melog’s fur. Prime’s False-Adora never swore, and she never sounded awkward or at a loss.

“Catra, I need to put pressure on that. Promise me you won’t tear my face off.” 

At her nod of assent, she felt Adora press something soft against the back of her neck. She couldn’t stand to have Adora behind her like that; she might fall back into that terrible nightmare. Instead, she turned toward Adora and put her head on her shoulder, releasing Melog.

“Stay there,” the great cat growled before it vanished.

Catra balled up her fists and pressed them against her closed eyes, willing herself to stay silent, even as tears leaked around her hands. 

Adora was silent too. She didn’t move, didn’t speak, just pressed her strong hand over the cloth soaking up blood from the lacerations and used the other arm to encircle Catra’s shoulders.

This was home; this was the place Catra always wanted to return to.

The door opened. Catra heard Melog’s heavy paw tread was followed by Casta’s light footsteps.

“What happened?” The sorceress asked.

No one spoke until Catra realized Castaspella was asking her, not Adora.

Catra couldn’t think of a single thing to say, except the truth, “I had a nightmare,” she whispered.

“I see.” Castaspella’s tone was unreadable to Catra. She didn’t sound angry, however. “May I look?”

Catra nodded, and Adora moved the cloth aside. 

Casta sighed heavily, but said, “It’s not so bad. But I think I should put a couple of stitches in one of these.”

Since it was her own fault, Catra hardly felt in a position to argue. She gritted her teeth and nodded. 

“I’ll give you some more potion first?” Casta asked kindly.

Catra had forgotten about that, but she feared to fall asleep again. “No,” she whispered, “Just go ahead.” 

Adora put her arms around Catra’s waist, “It’s okay,” she whispered. “I’m here and I’m not leaving.” 

“All right. This will sting for a moment,” Casta said.

It did sting, feeling a bit like a hornet, then numbness spread out from the sting. Several long minutes of pressure and tugging ensued, but in far less time than Catra would have imagined, Casta covered the whole mess with a new dressing.

“Now, come along,” The dark-haired woman said, tiredly. “Back to bed.”

“Wait. That was it?” Catra asked, confused. She’d been waiting for Casta to get started.

“Yes, dear. Come on, girls.”

Adora stood up, carrying Catra in her arms. This was becoming a habit.

“No. Wait.” Catra struggled to get Adora to put her down.

“What?”

“Let me go clean up.” Her hand was bloody and her shirt was spotted with blood and soaked through with fear sweat.

Adora let go. Catra scurried to the bathroom, grabbed a clean shirt from the bag Glimmer had brought and washed the blood off her hands.

Catra didn’t look at Casta until she was safely ensconced in bed between Melog and Adora. She didn’t look angry, rather she looked tired and sad. Catra kept waiting for the storm she was certain was surely coming.

Castaspella came back to stand by the side of the bed. “Catra? Will you be able to sleep, do you think?” 

Sleep was the last thing Catra wanted to do, but she said, “I’ll be all right.” She paused awkwardly. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Casta smiled at both women and picked up a basket she had brought in with her. “We’ll talk in the morning.” She left the room, pulling the door closed quietly.

“What were you dreaming about?” As soon as Casta was gone, Adora settled down on her side to face Catra. “You were tossing around and then when I tried to wake you…”

“I was dreaming about Horde Prime. It was kinda bad” Catra admitted. She scooted around until she faced Adora and pressed her back against Melog. “Can I ask you something?” 

“What?” 

Catra had been wanting to ask Adora this for weeks, but she’d never had the courage. “Did I...die on Horde Prime’s ship?”

Adora looked away. “No. Don’t be stupid. She Ra can’t bring back the dead. You were...pretty bad off, but you didn’t die.”

“Then what happened?”

“What do you remember?”

Catra gulped. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Adora's face fell. “Please Catra. You jumped out of bed, looked at me like I was a ghost, and told me I wasn’t real before you decided to rip the back of your neck open. I need to know what’s happening!”

Melog growled softly, “Child. Granddaughter. Speak to her.” Apparently wanting to give them some privacy, it hopped off the bed and disappeared.

Feeling cornered, Catra’s breathing sped up and she shivered so hard the bed shook.

“Catra? It’s okay.” Adora pulled the blanket over both of them. “Just tell me what’s going on. Take all the time you need.”

“I dreamed about when Prime had me. And this time...I dreamed that I died.” 

“That sounds scary,” whispered Adora. “What does it mean when you die in a dream?”

“I don’t know.” Catra paused to suck in a deep breath. “Do you remember what happened? On Prime’s ship?”

“Yes.” Adora closed her eyes. “What do you remember?”

“All of it. Prime wouldn’t let me _not_ know. He...made sure I was there for...everything.”

Adora’s grey eyes opened in shock, “Oh, no. I didn't know."

“When we fought…” Now it was Catra who had to look away. “I felt everything. When you got me in that hold, and I pulled my shoulder out of its socket. When you hit me. Everything.”

Strong arms slipped around Catra’s waist. “I am so sorry.” 

“No. It was okay.” Catra buried her head in her girlfriend’s shoulder. “I started to believe it was real because it hurt so much. And when I fell, you jumped after me. I remember you holding me. I remember there being about a million clones around us. How did we...get out?”

“That was when She Ra came back,” Adora said. 

“Wait, what? Came back? Where’d she go?”

“When I broke the sword, she went away. I didn’t know she was going to come back.”

Aghast, Catra picked up her head and stared at her friend. “You four planned to take on Horde Prime without She Ra?” 

“Well, it worked.” Smug gray eyes met hers.

“Why?” Catra wailed. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I love you.” Adora said with finality, “I never stopped loving you. Even though I could never get you to come with me.”

“You’re such an idiot.” Catra felt her eyes fill again and she swiped impatiently at them.

“Yeah.”

When Catra could trust herself to speak without her voice shaking, she asked, “So, how did you get her back without the sword?”

“It was you,” Adora said, softly. “I had to save you and suddenly, she was there like she’d never been gone.”

“I remember...being tossed around.” Catra shivered, thinking back. “It hurt. A lot.”

Adora gasped. “Oh, no. I thought you were too out of it to feel it.”

“I wish.” Closing her eyes and burying her face back into Adora’s shoulder because it felt safer there, she went on, “And then I guess I did blackout. I was floating in this dark place. But, it wasn’t bad. It was safe. It felt...friendly. Everything was okay. I...didn’t need to be scared or hurt anymore. Then something dragged me back.” 

“She Ra...healed you.”

Catra shook her head. “I was dead. She-Ra brought me back.”

“That’s not possible.”

“Whatever.” Catra was a little offended that Adora didn’t believe her. “I thought you wanted to know what I remembered?”

Adora opened her mouth then closed it, apparently not knowing what to say. “Sorry. I’ll shut up.” she finally said.

“What I remember is...I died. It doesn’t matter whether it actually happened or if it was just a dream, I guess. was dead and something told me I needed to come back. And then I woke up and you were holding me. For the longest time, I thought maybe I was still dead, you know? Or maybe I was dreaming. I was pretty confused. It wasn’t until you carried me to my bunk that I figured out I wasn’t dead.”

Adora nodded, “You wouldn’t let go. And then you thought I wasn’t real.”

“I still don't know how long Prime had me. All that time, he kept going into my head. Over and over he played out you rescuing me. I kept telling him you weren’t coming back.” The sentence ended on a sob. “And now, it feels like this could all be a dream. All the time. The only thing that helps make it real is when I hurt myself. I-I-I’m afraid to stop.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra continues having long angsty talks.
> 
> Trigger warning for sexual abuse, implied torture.
> 
> Not graphic but possibly upsetting.

“How long has it been like this?” Adora asked.

Speaking into the darkness, Catra said, “I don’t know. I’ve been getting the dreams on and off since you...y’know...rescued me. But now, even when I’m awake, I don’t feel _real_ anymore.”

“All the time?”

“No. It’s just when someone does something or says something that reminds me too much of what happened with Prime.”

“Like what?”

Catra wriggled around a little and Adora loosened her hold so that Catra could roll away from her and face the other way. She seemed to need the distance. “A lot of times, I don’t even know. It was that green pool the other night. Sometimes it’s when I'm in high places.” she said. 

She went quiet for a few minutes and Adora wished she could see her face. “A lot of times it's _you_.” Her voice dropped to a whisper as if fearful of being overheard. 

“Me? I don’t understand. Did I do something..?” 

“No. It’s not your fault.” Catra turned back towards her and Adora could see her cat’s eyes shining steadily in the bright moonlight that came in through the window over the bed. “When Prime had me...I told you, that was his favorite thing. He made me think you’d come for me and we’d have this whole reunion moment thing. I think he liked to watch.” Catra swallowed hard and closed her eyes. “I’m not sure if watching was all he did.”

“Watching..?” 

“Us,” Catra hissed, through gritted teeth. “Together. In bed.” She covered her face with her hands. “Having. Sex.”

It seemed to Adora that someone had just hit her in the stomach; she couldn’t quite take in what Catra was telling her. “But, we never...how could he find a memory of something that hadn’t happened yet?”

“ _Adora._ I have an imagination.” Mercifully, Catra didn’t add, “idiot” but, Adora heard it anyway. “It wasn’t memories, it was what I _wanted_ to do with you. What I imagined we could do.”

“Oh, no.” Adora felt her gorge rise when she understood what Catra was telling her. The picture of Catra’s desperate, appalled face and the soft, possessive way Prime touched her was crystal clear in Adora’s mind. Prime offering Catra to Adora, as though she were a pet or a possession; the things Catra said while under Prime’s control.

“I tried to stop hoping you’d come back for me. I tried hard to give him a reason to kill me.” Catra’s voice had gone flat and her pupils contracted to two narrow slits. Adora was close enough to feel her shivering. “I started to figure out when he was messing with me, but I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I don’t even know how much of what I remember actually happened and how much was in my head.”

Catra covered her face with her hands, again. “So, sometimes, you’ll do something that reminds me too much of Fake-Adora and I’m not sure what’s real anymore.”

Now that she’d mentioned it, Adora had noticed Catra flinching from contact, or abruptly leaving a room. She would explain it away that she needed to be alone or wanted to spend time with Melog. And then a couple of times, Adora had reached out to Catra to kiss her or just touch her and she’d gone rigid. Adora would just back off when that happened, completely willing to go at whatever pace Catra set, but apparently, she had not paid enough attention. 

What Adora read as simple shyness was more than nervousness about their new relationship and how much things had changed. How many times over the past few weeks Catra had fought down panic? How many times had Catra lost to the panic, resolving it by turning her claws on herself? She reflected that they were lucky Catra had only lashed out at someone else the one time.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Seriously? Why would I?” Catra took her hands away from her face and glared. “How do you even start? I just want to stop thinking about it.”

It came to Adora then how alone Catra had been for the last three years. For all that time, Adora had had Bow and Glimmer. It was natural now for her to seek their help, to share her problems, but for Catra this was all so new. Certainly, Catra and Scorpia had been close, but Adora had not asked _how_ close. And Adora was pretty sure she’d never made either Scorpia or Entrapta confidants. 

“Would it be okay if we talked to Glimmer’s aunt or someone about this? I don’t know what to do.”

The smaller woman shook her head. “She’s probably pissed that we got her up in the middle of the night. I bet she’s going to throw us out.” 

“She didn’t seem upset. I broke a bunch of her lunar mirrors the first time I was here. She was pissed then. Last night she was just tired.”

“Melog’s been bugging me to tell someone.” Catra sighed. “They’ve been worried.” She paused, “What’s an ‘aunt’, anyway? I asked her what I should call her because I didn’t know her title and she just said I should call her ‘Aunt Casta’ like Sparkles does.”

“Huh. I wondered about that.” Adora smiled slightly. “She never asked me to call her Aunt Casta,” she mock-grumbled and was rewarded with a little chuckle from Catra.

“Am I just crazy?” Catra asked after a long time. 

“We’ll figure it out,” Adora assured her, reaching out to caress her shoulder, then pulled her hand back, unsure if she would be welcome. She took a big breath in, then asked, “Would it help if...I mean...can I...hold you?” 

In answer, Catra scooted closer so Adora could slip her arms around her waist. “Is this okay?” she checked.

“Yeah.”

About the time the sun rose, Adora felt Catra finally relax into sleep. Even then, Adora couldn’t let her go. 

* * *

It was almost midmorning before Melog woke Adora by poking her with their nose. Someone was knocking. 

“Adora? Catra?” called Casta.

“Yes.” Adora climbed out of bed, feeling awkward that she’d overslept. She opened the door, embarrassed that she was still in just a sleeping shirt and shorts. “Sorry, I just woke up.

“Don’t be concerned, Adora. I brought breakfast and I want to have a talk with you both.”

“Talk?” In Adora’s experience, that never boded well. 

“Yes, is Catra awake?” the sorceress asked.

“Yes. Catra is awake,” grumbled the woman, from her bed. Adora winced at Catra’s sharp tone, two hours of sleep after last night’s drama was not going to do Catra’s mood any good.

Fortunately, Casta didn’t appear to take offense. “Oh, good.” She came in and approached the bed. She was followed by some of the palace staff with a wheeled cart from the kitchen. “I’d like you to eat something before we talk.” 

“No,” replied Catra. “If we need to talk we should do it now.” Adora knew that tone; Catra was bracing herself for rejection.

“How are you feeling?” Casta asked, settling herself down in the chair as the staff pulled over the table from the corner and began setting out dishes on it.

“I’m fine, now,” Catra said, civilly. “We can pretty much pack up and head back to Bright Moon whenever you need us to. You’ve been very nice. Thank you.”

“I beg your pardon?” Casta seemed taken aback. Then her face cleared, as though she understood something, “I’m not asking you to leave. Is that what you’re concerned with?”

For two seconds, Catra looked surprised. “Um...well...yes,” she admitted. “I mean, that isn’t what you want to talk about? I sort of figured after last night…”

Casta shook her head. “No. I don’t want you to leave, but I did want to talk about last night.” With a nod from Casta, the two Palace staff left the room and closed the door behind them.

“I’m really sorry about that.” Catra’s cheeks colored. “I have no idea why Melog woke you.”

“Catra. You were hurt. Melog is worried. Adora is worried. I’m worried too. So, I’d like you to eat something and perhaps see if there’s something we can do to help.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” growled Catra. “And I don’t need any help.” 

Seemingly unruffled, Casta took the covers off the dishes on the table. “Why don’t we eat first?” 

Adora sat down at the table with Casta.

“Would you prefer to join us or are you all right?” the sorceress asked Catra.

“I’ll come over there.” Catra slid out of bed, dragging the blanket with her and wrapping it around herself as she sat next to Adora. 

“Help yourselves.” 

Casta didn’t speak while Adora and Catra applied themselves to breakfast, she just drank tea. Adora was beginning to become acutely uncomfortable with the silence, when Catra finally asked, “So, what did you want to talk about?”

Casta paused as if to think before speaking. “I hope you don’t mind, Catra but I asked Glimmer about you. She told me how you protected her from Horde Prime when she was captured and how you rescued her.”

“Well, sort of. I guess.” Catra folded her arms across her chest. Adora thought it was to hide her hands shaking. “I just did what I had to.”

“She did.” Adora jumped in when it seemed that those few words were the only ones Catra was going to say on the subject. “We never would have gotten Glimmer back, if it wasn’t for Catra. She stopped Horde Prime from killing her when they were first captured. She spent weeks pretending to be loyal to the Horde so she could learn the ship's systems. She figured out how to send a message and how to use Prime’s transporter to get her to us. And then we never would have gotten past Prime’s blockade if Catra hadn’t gotten Melog to help us.”

“Glimmer said that the consequences for you were severe.” Casta steepled her hands together. “She said that we are deeply in your debt.”

Catra’s hand floated towards the back of her neck, almost as if she didn’t realize what she was doing. Adora took the hand in hers before it got there. 

Catra squeezed Adora’s hand and then let go. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she said woodenly

Melog paced over and put their head in Catra’s lap. The magical cat mewled, apparently speaking to Catra, who stood up with a growl of frustration. “No. I said I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to think about it.” She told Melog as she walked away to look out of the window. “It doesn’t change anything.”

Adora started to jump up, to go after Catra, but Castaspella put out her hand and stopped her. “Catra, I know it might seem overwhelming right now, but we should be able to help you. We have spells to repair the damage from exposure to dark magic. It’s complex and takes time, but it may be that it will also help those who have been chipped.” 

“What?” Catra turned around and looked honestly confused. “Prime never used magic.”

“Yes, but Shadow Weaver did,” Adora said quietly. “That can’t be helping.”

“I guess,” muttered Catra.

“I hope you both realize how barbaric using dark magic on children is?” Casta muttered, harshly.

Both young women looked at each other and shrugged. Adora was interested in a different problem, “Hey, wouldn’t She-Ra’s magic help with that?”

“Yes. I assume that’s why you show so little damage yourself.” 

“But, what about She Ra healing other people? I mean…” Adora glanced at Catra who looked away. “When we rescued Catra, she was pretty bad off. She-Ra healed her.”

“Physical damage is easier to heal than psychic damage,” Casta said softly. Then she turned to Catra, “Glimmer told me her story up until you saved her. She said I should ask you about what happened on Horde Prime’s ship after that. She said she didn’t feel it was her story to tell.”

“I…um,” Catra gulped. Adora thought she was going to tell Casta that she didn’t want to talk about it again, but instead, she turned back to the window and spoke almost as if to herself. “I thought that when I sent Sparkles...I mean Glimmer....to Adora, I thought that Prime was going to kill me. I was okay with that. I was ready to die. And then I...didn’t.” She ran her hand through her hair. “It was bad. He was really angry.” Catra turned back towards the table. “Adora? How long was it?”

Adora sighed, trying to count up the time in her head. “Maybe a week? We all sort of lost track.”

“That sounds right. Did you know that Prime doesn’t sleep?” Catra turned away again, hugging herself. “That whole time he hardly let me sleep. Do you remember when he asked you if he should make me his vessel? And then he said I wouldn’t last him long? That’s what he meant. The only thing he fed me was that liquid shit the clones live on. He was just going to keep my body going until it broke.” Her shoulders began to shake. “I’m so tired. I’m sorry, I just can’t do this alone anymore.”

Casta and Adora both jumped to their feet. Casta was quicker and led Catra back to sit on the bed. Melog jumped up behind her and Adora settled down beside her. Casta sat on her other side and let Catra sob into her shoulder. After a moment, Casta reached out to include Adora in the embrace. 

Catra cried for a very long time. When she was finally done, the three women sat in silence for a few minutes until Casta finally moved to stand.

“I’m sorry to be so much trouble,” whispered Catra.

“You are no trouble,” Casta said firmly. She reached out and grasped Catra’s hands.“People come here for healing and from what Glimmer has told me, you are in need of somewhere to recover. I would like you to consider Mysticor as much your home as Bright Moon. For as long as you need.”

“Thank you,” Catra said, looking awkward and confused, but she didn’t draw away. 

“If you’d like, why don’t you and Adora go to the library and see if there’s anything that might interest you there. But I don’t want you to go any further than that. You need rest.” 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some unexpected visitors stop by

“I’m so tired.” Catra fell face-first onto the bed. “Why am I so tired?” Melog hopped up onto the bed near her feet.

“Your body is betraying you.” Adora deadpanned, as she followed Catra into their room with her arms full of books from Mystacor’s library. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with you recovering from a serious infection, getting brand new stitches, or getting two hours of sleep last night.”

“That’s nonsense.” Catra groused, still lying face-down, exhausted. She would never have thought that the act of showering, getting dressed, and taking a short walk would have her nearly passing out with fatigue. They had to cut their trip to the library short when Adora noticed Catra was almost asleep on her feet. 

“You could take a nap.” Adora dropped the books onto the table near the bed.

Catra turned on her side so she could look at her. “Ridiculous.” 

While they were out, someone had come in and made the bed and tidied up. If they were going to stay here, Catra was going to have to ask them to stop doing that. It made her intensely uncomfortable to have someone doing things she should have taken care of herself. She had just gotten the staff at Bright Moon to stop coming in and cleaning up.

Adora sat down beside her. “So have you thought about what Casta said?” she asked.

“About staying here?” 

“Yes.”

“I kind of like the idea, actually. Would you be okay with that?”

“I’m happy to go wherever you want.” 

Catra fiddled with her tail, nervously. “Do you think they can help?” she asked softly.

Adora shrugged. “I’m pretty sure they can help some, and I think Casta would be thrilled to have you around. If you want, I can get Glimmer to help me move some things here. It’s not like we have much to move. Do you want me to call her? We could do it today.”

“Today? I’m so tired.”

“You rest. I can do it myself.”

“Yeah. that sounds good.” Gratefully, Catra let her eyes sag shut, without bothering to undress or get under the blankets.

It was hours later when voices in the hallway outside her door woke her.

“Okay, they said it was on this floor.” That voice was familiar to Catra, but she couldn’t place it. Young and male, it was so familiar she felt like she should know the scent that went with the voice.

“Are you sure we should be doing this?” A woman’s voice said, nervously. “I mean, I can't believe that they even let us in the front gate.” Again the feeling that she had to be intimately familiar with this person. 

“Well, Scorpia vouched for us.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t expect them to actually honor it. Weird, right? Anyway, do you think she’ll really want to see us?”

Something growled an answer that Catra almost understood. Even half-asleep she couldn’t miss that voice. She shook off her torpor trying to decide if the voices were real or if she was still dreaming.

“Well, if she doesn’t want to see us, at least we tried, right?”

“I think it’s this one.”

“Well, go ahead and knock.”

“You knock, Kyle.”

After the knock, the door opened and Bow’s voice asked, “Hey. What can I do for you?”

“Ah. We’re looking for Catra.” That  _ was  _ Kyle’s voice.

“She’s asleep right…” Bow began

“No...no, I’m awake,” Catra called, staggering out of bed, grateful she was dressed. “Lonnie? Kyle? Rogelio? What...what are you doing here?”

Kyle was taller than Catra remembered and Rogelio was thinner, but Lonnie was her old sturdy self. Lonnie and Kyle both dressed in the kind of utilitarian clothes that people expected from former Horde officers, but Rogelio (always the most artistic of all of them) was dressed in a shirt of blue and yellow that Catra would have bet he made himself.

Kyle smiled at her. Lonnie averted her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest and Rogelio made a chuffing sound that Catra knew to mean “We came to see you.”

“We...heard you were sick,” Kyle said. “Can we come in for a visit?”

“Uh...sure,” Catra said, dubiously. “Come on in.” She waved them inside and looked at Bow since Adora was nowhere to be seen. “Where’d everybody go?”

“They went to pack up stuff at Bright Moon. They said they’ll be back soon. I figured I’d stay around here in case you needed anything.” He looked at the three former Horde soldiers and said in an undertone, “Do you want me to stay or leave?”

“Just stay for now. I don’t know what’s up with this.” Catra whispered back. She could not think what these three would be doing here.

“This is pretty nice,” said Kyle, looking around at the pleasant room furnished in blue, white, and grey.

“Yeah. Thanks.” Catra said, awkwardly. She tried to remember the last conversation she’d had with any of them. In that last year with the Horde, she mostly just yelled at them. “Um...yeah...so...you guys look good.” She winced at the false cheer in her voice.

“Well, you look like shit,” Lonnie said. “You need to sit down before you fall down.” 

Lonnie was not wrong. Catra’s hands were shaking with more than fatigue. She didn’t think they were there to take their feelings out on her hide, but she thought that would probably be easier than hearing their very real grievances against her.

“Catra. She’s right, Adora will have my head if she gets back and you haven’t been resting.” Bow put in. He was eyeing the three warily. Catra noticed him glance at his bow propped up in the corner. She also noticed he’d left the door half-open, as if he thought they might have to call for backup.

“Is Adora here too?” Lonnie said. “I heard you two got together.” She didn’t sound like she approved. Kyle gave her a sharp look and made a little “calm down” motion with his hand.

Picking up on Catra’s agitation, Melog jumped off the bed and interposed himself between Catra and Lonnie. His mane turned red and he growled warningly. 

Lonnie took a step back. “Whoa! What’s that?”

“It’s my friend, Melog,” said Catra. She put her hand on his shoulder, “Melog, this is Lonnie, Kyle, and Regellio. I grew up with them.” Melog sat and his mane smoothed to white. “Oh, and this is Bow,” she told the trio.

“We’ve actually met,” Kyle said as he held out his hand to Bow, who shook it. Rogelio also shook his hand. 

Lonnie stood with her arms crossed. “Catra,” she growled. “Will you sit, already?” 

“Okay, I’ll sit. You guys take a seat too.” Catra indicated the chairs. She climbed back up into the bed where Melog jumped up next to her.

“Oh! We brought you flowers!” Kyle said as he sat. He held up a bunch of red and white flowers he’d been holding.

Catra stared at him and then the flowers and back again. 

“Perfuma said flowers are a good idea when you’re visiting someone who’s sick,” Lonnie said grudgingly. 

Catra and Bow looked at each other, then Bow smiled and took the bouquet from Kyle, “I’ll find something to put them in.”

“How did you hear about it?” asked Catra.

“Scorpia told us. I guess she saw Queen Glimmer at some trade agreement thing yesterday. She says “hi”, by the way.” Kyle said. “Scorpia, I mean.”

“So...what are you sick with?” asked Lonnie. “They wouldn’t let us in here if it was contagious so I figured you must have busted a leg or something.” She looked Catra up and down. “Not seeing any casts.”

“Ah.” Catra wasn’t at all sure what to say. She glanced at Bow as he set the bouquet on the bedside table. He shrugged minutely and she decided to take a chance on some of the truth. “I was chipped. And it’s giving me some trouble.” 

The three winced. “Shit, Catra. I’m sorry.” Lonnie said, “That sucks.”

“Most of the people in the Fright Zone got chipped,” Kyle said, softly. “Scorpia says she has awful nightmares that it’s still there.”

“Yeah...I do too. I tried to pry it off in my sleep.” Catra wasn’t going to give them all the details, but being a little honest about it felt good. She extended her claws. “I nearly extracted my spine before I woke up properly. And, naturally, it got infected.” 

Kyle nodded sagely and Regellio made sympathetic noises. 

“By the time she told us she was sick,” Bow put in, “She was so delirious she was calling me ‘Kyle’.”

“I was?” asked Catra, surprised.

“Yeah. You were also calling Glimmer’s aunt Shadow Weaver. Which, I promise, she didn’t appreciate.” Bow sounded amused rather than annoyed, but Catra was appalled that she had confused Casta with Shadow Weaver.

That earned a nervous sounding chuckle from Lonnie. “I bet.” She shifted in her chair and fixed her eyes on Catra. “Are they treating you all right?” she asked very seriously.

Catra nodded, warily. “Yes. I’m okay. Castaspella’s in charge here. She’s been great.”

“Good,” Lonnie said. She seemed like she wanted to say more, but lacked the courage and just looked down at her hands. Kyle and Regellio exchanged glances. Kyle opened his mouth and then changed his mind.

For a few beats, no one spoke. 

“Hey, can I get anyone anything?” Bow asked, sounding like a man desperately clutching at straws.

A general murmur of “No thanks, I’m good,” went around the circle.

Finally, Catra couldn’t take it anymore, “Look, you guys, I’m…”

Lonnie’s head snapped up. “Shut up, Catra.”

Catra shut her mouth and leaned into Melog, bracing herself for whatever Lonnie was going to dish out.

“Listen, we wanted to come here,” she gestured at the two men, “to tell you we’re sorry.”

“What?” That was probably the last thing she expected to hear. “Why? I don’t understand.”

Kyle sighed, “We've been talking about it a lot. We just felt like we wanted to make it up with you.”

“We miss you,” Rogelio added.

“But, I…” Catra began, and then she had to stop to swallow the lump in her throat. “I wasn’t very nice to you guys.”

Lonnie scratched her nose, “Yeah, near the end you got kind of harsh, but we figured that with all the stuff that was going on…” she trailed off and shrugged. “You always had someone riding your ass, we got that. You were just too much of a dumbass to let your friends help you. And we should have...y’know...been more...” she seemed to be searching for the right word.

“Supportive,” Kyle finished for her.

Catra felt like someone had just hit her in the head with a heavy bar. “Wait, no...I ran you guys ragged. I mean...”

“Look, we all know that after Adora left…” Kyle began.

“Fuck Adora,” muttered Lonnie, crossing her arms and looking away.

Rogelio leaned forward to pat Lonnie on the shoulder and she responded by holding his hand.

Kyle started again, “After Adora left, we all saw what Shadow Weaver put you through. You always stood up for us and took the worst of her bullshit. And then when she was gone, you stood up to Hordak for us. We appreciated that.”

“I never stood up to Shadow Weaver for you, that was Adora you’re thinking of.”

“Seriously?” Kyle laughed and looked at his partners who joined in. “Remember the time Kyle fucked up and Shadow Weaver wanted to know who did it.” Kyle asked, “And then Catra jumped in and was all, ‘Yep. I did it. That was me.’? Oh wait, that was every fucking week.”

“She would have blamed me no matter what,” Catra muttered. “And anyway…” she trailed off, not wanting to say that Kyle couldn’t have coped.

“We know that after Adora fucking left, Shadow Weaver just put you through hell.” Lonnie said. “And us too. ”

“Look, guys…” this conversation was going very differently than what Catra thought it was going to. “I want to let you know. I’m sorry for how I treated you,” she swallowed, “It wasn’t right.”

Kyle shrugged and Rogelio growled something that sounded like “No worries.”

“So, Scorpia told us you and Adora are together now?” Lonnie said. “Are you sure you want to be doing that? I mean, are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Yes,” Catra affirmed. She was used to wondering how many people didn’t think she was good enough for Adora, but this was the first time she’d ever had somebody wonder the opposite. “But that’s beside the point.”

Lonnie stood up. “No, Catra, you stayed. Adora just left us high and dry. Remember? When she first disappeared I figured she was captured, but then you found her, and then I had to figure it was some kind of fucked up mind control shit. When that turned out to be wrong I realized she just left you and us holding the bag. Fuck Adora.”

The half-open door swung open, Adora dropped a box just inside the door so that her hands were free. Her face was pale, and her eyes glinted like grey chips of ice. Glimmer stood behind her looking horrified. Catra hadn’t heard them arrive since she was so focused on what Lonnie was saying; there was no telling how much Adora had heard.

“Lonnie, if you’ve got something to say to me, say it to my face.” Adora walked across the floor to stand directly in front of the other woman.

Catra realized that, although Adora used to be shorter than Lonnie, she was taller and broader now. Not that Lonnie was intimidated.

“Yes. I have a lot to say to you.” She poked Adora in the chest with her index finger. “If you’re ready to hear about it.”

“I’m standing right in front of you,” Adora growled. “Name the time and place.”

“Here?” Lonnie said. “And I’m ready to go right now.” Her voice was low and dangerous.

Adora made a show of looking around. “Outside. We’ve got a practice ground.”

“Okay. I’m good with that.” Lonnie stripped off her jacket and handed it to Kyle so that she only wore her t-shirt. She looked good, strong and solid

“Catra?” whispered Bow, “What’s going on?”

“Shh.”

“Rules?” asked Adora, addressing the room with a dangerous little smile.

“No Princess crap,” Kyle called out. 

“Okay,” said Adora, “I won’t need any magic for this.”

“Quit when one of you starts bleeding,” Catra said, firmly. “And don’t kill each other. It’s way too much paperwork.”

Adora nodded. “All right.”

“You got it, Catra.”

Adora took her jacket off too. “Weapons?”

“Um...no?” Bow sputtered.

Lonnie laughed, “So, a bare-handed fight? Okay with me.”

“Hey, Sparkles?” Catra called out to Glimmer who stood frozen with apparent confusion.

“Yes?” she squeaked.

“Casta will have my hide if I second Adora right now. Will you go?”

“What do I have to do?” Glimmer asked.

“Well, we negotiated the rules already. Barehanded fight, no She Ra, and stop at first blood. Make sure they follow them. Patch up Adora if she gets injured. Otherwise, stay out of it.”

Lonnie turned to Catra, “Will she? Stay out of it, I mean.”

Catra nodded. “Yeah. Who’s your second?”

Kyle and Rogelio both stood up, then Kyle sat down when the lizard man squeezed his shoulder. 

“Glimmer? Will you give us a ride to the practice ground?” Adora asked. “This shouldn’t take very long.”

“It sure won’t,” said Lonnie.

The four of them disappeared.

“So...ahh...what is that about?” asked Bow weakly.

Kyle shrugged, “Lonnie’s been pissed at Adora for a long time.” He looked at Catra, “Has she gotten any better at bare-handed fighting? You know Lonnie always beat her at that.”

“Yeah, but Adora got taller, she’s got more reach than she used to. She would have been happier with staves, I think. I was going to suggest that before Bow jumped in.”

“You guys are okay with them beating the snot out of each other?”

Catra and Kyle nodded. Catra said, “I told them to quit at first blood. They can’t hurt each other too much.” 

“Hey, I like the haircut, by the way,” Kyle said.

“Oh, thanks.” Catra ran her hand through her hair. “You hungry? I can probably get something sent up.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fighting, some fluff

“She’s never seconded before,” Adora told Lonnie and Rogelio, jerking her head sharply at Glimmer, “let me give her a quick tutorial.”

The two former Horde soldiers nodded. If they were disconcerted by Glimmer’s teleport, neither showed it. 

Mystacor’s sparring ground was a perfect circle of white sand that was designed for training in magical combat, but just as often it was used for plain old hitting-each-other-with-sticks. Lonnie walked around the broad circle while Rogelio took his place near Glimmer and Adora at the edge.

“So, uh...what’s going on here?” Glimmer asked. 

“Just like Catra told you. First person to draw blood wins. Or, the first person to bleed, loses. Whichever.” She smiled at Glimmer’s concerned frown, “Don’t worry. Catra already said we can’t kill each other. First blood is actually less painful than waiting for someone to get knocked out.” Glancing over her shoulder she said, “I am going to kill Bow though, I would have preferred my staff. I suck at this.”

“Do you really have to do this?” Glimmer asked, anxiously. “I mean…” 

Adora nodded soberly, “Yes. Lonnie’s got every right.” Walking in to hear Lonnie talk about how they’d all suffered after she left them was worse than a punch to the gut. She wanted to apologize, tell them she was sorry, but seeing the set of Lonnie’s chin she knew no apology was possible. This was the next best thing. “By the way…it’s kind of a big deal that Catra asked you to take her place. She probably should have asked Kyle.” 

“Are we doing this, or what?” called Lonnie, impatiently.

“Right here.” Adora took her place in the circle.

Rogelio came over and growled low in his throat and held out his hand to Glimmer. 

“Take his hand so we’ll know when to start.”

Rogelio and Glimmer raised their clasped hands. Then they dropped them. The game was on.

Lonnie kept her fists high, guarding her face as they circled each other, sizing each other up. She had always been better than Adora at this kind of combat. Actually, the only one who could beat Lonnie at this was Catra. 

But that was when they were kids. Adora and Lonnie were a thousand years past that now. And Adora had learned a few tricks; including fighting dirty if she had to. 

Lonnie closed fast, lunged and swung. Adora ducked out of the way. She crouched low to the ground to kick her opponent’s feet out from under her. Lonnie was expecting it. She hit her hard on the chin with her knee, grabbing for her. Adora slipped out of the hold and retreated to the far side of the circle.

“Are you going to keep running away, then?” Lonnie taunted.

Adora didn’t reply. She didn’t have the heart for this fight. Unfortunately, her silence seemed to enrage her opponent more than taunts

“You bitch!” Lonnie growled, In three strides she closed the distance, Adora blocked the first punch but the second caught her hard in the ribs. Adora grunted with pain and swung in earnest, connecting with Lonnie's chin.

She lost track of what was happening as her body responded to the pain and the adrenaline; now she was fighting for real. Everything was a painful red-tinged blur of fists. Sweat dripped into her eyes and the sand made her footing treacherous. She heard her opponent cry out in pain as she landed blow after blow on her midsection. 

She leaned in to put her shoulder behind a punch and her vision exploded into stars and white light. A high pitched squeal filled her ears. Hot liquid dripped down her chin.

“First Blood! Stop!” yelled Glimmer. “Um...Match to Lonnie? Adora? Adora! Are you okay? Adora! Quit!”

It went against Adora’s every instinct, to stop swinging right in the middle of the fight. Lonnie skipped backward, out of range. If not for Glimmer’s frantic voice, Adora would have just kept on going after her, regardless of the messy but minor injury. Instead, she stopped cold, falling to her hands and knees, letting the blood flow onto the white sand and waiting for the ringing in her ears to subside.

Lonnie crouched down in front of her. “Adora, look at me,” she ordered. 

Blearily, Adora peered at her childhood friend as her vision cleared. 

“You’re going to have a hell of a black eye, maybe two, you probably want to ice it. How many fingers?” Lonnie held out two fingers.

“Two,” muttered Adora, wadding up the front of her T-shirt to staunch her nose bleed.

“So, are we done here?” asked Glimmer, sounding slightly more high pitched than usual.

Adora gazed into Lonnie’s hard eyes. “Tha’s up to you,” she mumbled, hardly able to talk around her bloody, swollen nose.

“What the fuck, Adora?” Lonnie asked. “What were you thinking? Why would you just disappear on us?” Her brown eyes were less hard and now just sad, “We couldn’t believe you’d do that.”

“It made sense at the time,” Adora said. “I found that sword and then I found out that the Horde...I just couldn’t come back. I'm sorry.”

“Every time they sent us out on a mission, I had to worry about facing you. I totally got Catra’s little vendetta for a while. Shadow Weaver put us through hell! And it was like you died! And yet, there you were...” Lonnie waved vaguely over her shoulder, “Doing the whole princess thing.”

“But, I...Would you have listened to me?”

“I don’t know. The chance would have been nice.” Lonnie shook her head and made a disgusted little noise in the back of her throat. “Yeah. We’re done here.”

Glimmer teleported them right back to the room Adora and Catra were sharing. Instead of dripping blood onto white sand, Adora dripped onto the beautiful blue rug near the bed.

“Adora are you okay?” Bow settled down on one side of her. Catra on the other. 

“I’m fine,” she tried to say, but it came out more like, “I’b fige.”

“Come on Bow, give me a hand.”

Bow and Catra pulled her to sit on the bed with her head on her knees. Glimmer gave her a towel she could use, instead of her t-shirt. She closed her eyes, listening to everyone else talk in excited voices.

“I said ‘first blood’, not ‘first bleed all over the damned place’.”

“Ah, it’s just a bloody nose. You know they always bleed like crazy.” a pause, then. “Ooh, food!”

“I’ll go get Adora some ice.”

“So, Rogelio! Bow’s dads have a whole library on history! We should go see it!”

“What is this stuff?” 

“Try it.”

“It’s not salad, is it? Perfuma’s always trying to get everyone to try it.”

“Oh, that smells good.”

“That one’s my favorite.”

Someone handed Adora a fresh towel and she sat up. 

“Let me see this mess.”

Adora kept her eyes closed as Catra’s gentle hands examined her cheekbones and nose, feeling to make sure that the bones were where they should be, so. Her left eye felt like it was swelling shut. 

“Lonnie, did you  _ have  _ to try to break her face?” demanded Catra. 

“I can’t help it if she leads with it. Why, did you like it?”

“Yeah, I happen to like her face just fine the way it is.” Catra’s hands moved to squeeze Adora’s shoulders to let her know she was done giving her a once over and then jockeyed herself around so that Adora could lie down with her head in Catra’s lap and the ice pack on her face.

Adora gratefully followed Catra’s silent urging, If this had been a real battle she could have gone on for hours. If she’d been She-Ra she wouldn’t even have noticed it. But now that she’d stopped, Adora’s nose felt like it was three times the size it should be and it  _ hurt.  _ Lying down (especially in Catra’s lap) seemed like a very nice proposition.

“Ooo. Does Catra liiiiiike Adora?” Lonnie challenged. 

Adora braced herself for Catra’s inevitable answer. She knew what Catra would say, and she understood why Catra guarded her heart so fiercely, but it always stung.

“Yes. As a matter of fact, I do like her. A lot.” Catra rubbed Adora’s arm possessively. 

Adora lost track of the conversation for a little bit. Lonnie, Rogelio, Glimmer, and Kyle laughed and Bow snarked at Catra who snarked right back, while happy tears ran down Adora’s face behind the ice pack.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just one more thing.

Glimmer had learned a lot about Adora in the last hour. In the last three years, she had forgotten how long it took for Adora to adjust to things she took for granted. Now watching how both Adora and Catra interacted with the people they grew up with, things that Glimmer had always wondered about were clarified. 

For instance, she had always assumed Adora’s sense of honor and fairness was just intrinsic to her. A peculiarity of character that led her to become She Ra. Now, Glimmer realized, all of them had it. Lonnie demanded satisfaction, allowed the group to set down the rules and abided meticulously to those rules. Now that the fight was over, she was good-naturedly teasing both Catra and Adora (who was now finally appeared out from behind her ice pack, looking the worse for wear, but happy), apparently having decided that she had received satisfaction. 

When Glimmer thought about Scorpia though, she didn’t know why she was so surprised.

“This is weird,” Bow whispered as he brought Glimmer a plate of food and a glass of juice from the cart they’d brought up. “Nice. But weird.”

Catra heard that and stuck her tongue out at them, making Glimmer giggle. 

“So, you two are bunking together?” Kyle asked. “Have you made it official?”

“I...uh...not yet,” muttered Adora, looking away.

“Why not?” demanded Lonnie.

“It's not like we really need to ask for permission. But, I don’t even know how or even if they do that here.” Catra said, her tail lashing slowly from side to side. 

“Yes, but that’s not the point. It’s for you two, after all.” Kyle said. “We had Scorpia make it official for the three of us. She’s not really our commander, but she is our princess. You could ask her to do it for you.”

Glimmer didn’t really follow what they were talking about and was surprised to see Catra and Adora both blushing. 

“If...if we could do that...I’d like to,” Catra said shyly

Adora’s bruised face lit up with a huge smile. “You would?”

Catra fidgeted with her tail, looking away. “Yeah. I would. I wanted to ask you, but like I said, I don’t even know how they’d do that here. I’ve been thinking about it for weeks.”

“You have? I wasn’t sure. Everything is so different.”

Lonnie grinned, “I’ll ask for you. If you tell me who to ask.”

“Uh. Well. You could ask Glimmer.” Adora said. “She’s right there.” As one. Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio looked towards her. “She’s the closest thing to a commander we have. You could ask her right now.”

Catra’s head snapped around, “Right now? You want to do this right now?”

Adora’s blush grew deeper and she nodded, “Yes. Since everyone’s here. I don’t want to wait.” She looked down at her hands “Only if...that’s what you want.”

In answer, Catra took Adora’s hand and nodded. “Um...yeah. I’d like that a lot,” she whispered. 

Adora stood up abruptly. “Let me just go change my shirt.” She dashed off to the bathroom, leaving Glimmer baffled at what she was seeing.

Lonnie and Kyle both stood up and put on their jackets. Rogelio straightened his shirt. Catra whispered something to Melog who disappeared.

“Ok, I’m back,” Adora said, reappearing in a shirt that wasn’t covered in blood, sounding weirdly nervous. “Um...Glimmer? This is going to sound strange and I don’t even know how you do this here, but we need someone to approve and witness us...well, maybe not to approve but at least to witness...and Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio are here...And you and Bow are here...and Catra wants to...and you’re the queen so you can do this and I’m not explaining this right am I?”

“Adora. You dumbass. Just shut up,” Lonnie growled. “Go stand there.” She directed Adora to stand on one side of the room and Catra stood beside her.

“Wait a minute,” said Catra, “We need to wait for Castaspella. She’s the sorceress in charge of Mystacore. I just sent Melog to find her.”

Kyle and Rogelio moved the furniture around so that it looked vaguely like Glimmer was holding Court, with Lonnie standing in the middle like someone who was receiving an audience. They put Bow’s chair next to Glimmer’s and then an empty chair on the other side.

“So, what’s going on here?” Glimmer finally asked Lonnie.

Before she could answer, the door opened and Casta came in with Melog. “Is everything all right?” She asked, taking in the three strangers.

“Um...Aunt Casta?” Catra said, tentatively, “These are Rogelio, Lonnie, and Kyle. We…” she indicated Adora, “We grew up with them. Uh...We wanted you and Bow and Glimmer to witness…” she trailed off, apparently too nervous to continue.

“What are your formal titles?” Kyle asked with a surprisingly charming smile. “We need you to witness a ceremony and it’s kind of important.”

“Castaspella of Mysticore and Queen Glimmer of Bright Moon.” Bow told him. To the women, he whispered, “I think I get what’s going on.” He moved off to stand next to Kyle.

Once Glimmer and Casta were seated according to Lonnie’s satisfaction, Lonnie went down on one knee to the two rulers. She stayed down until Glimmer had the presence of mind to say, “Please rise.”

“Queen Glimmer of Brightmoon and Castaspella of Mysticore.” Lonnie gave each of them a sharp, precise little bow. “I have come on behalf of Force Captain Adora and Force Captain Catra. They are requesting a permanent assignment to the same quarters and commands. Will you approve of this?”

“Yes.” Glimmer said.

“Of course.” Casta echoed.

“Force Captains? What surety will you give your commanders that this assignment is beneficial to…” Lonnie stumbled over some wording, “just...beneficial.”

Catra and Adora stepped forward, repeating Lonnie’s little bow to both Casta and Glimmer. “We are stronger together,” said Adora, sounding like she was repeating something she had learned a long time ago. “And I will share my last blanket and my last rations. I will fight beside her until death takes me.”

“We are stronger together.” Catra repeated, “And I’ll share my last blanket and my last rations. I will fight beside her until…” the end of the sentence was lost to Catra’s tears, but they all understood.

“Commanders? Do you approve and witness?”

“Yes!” Glimmer and Casta said in unison.

Lonnie turned to the rest, “Heard and witnessed?”

“Heard and witnessed!” called back Kyle, Bow, and Rogelio loudly. Melog added his own growling purr to the din.

Catra and Adora hugged each other, both dissolving into tears, then they kissed. 

“What just happened?” Casta whispered to Glimmer.

“I think we just presided over a Horde wedding.”

When Catra and Adora were finished, Kyle pulled a small package out of his pocket. “Hey, we brought you this because Scorpia told me you two were probably going to want to make it official at some point, I just didn’t realize we were going to be eating with the commanders today.”

Whatever Kyle gave to Catra made her tear up all over again. “Kyle. I don’t know what to say.”

“I know you don’t need it, but it’s traditional,” he replied.

“What is that?” Glimmer asked.

“Extra rations,” Lonnie supplied. “You know, in case one of them decides to produce a couple of new little soldiers.” She grinned at Catra. “Well, speaking of little soldiers, we left ours with Scorpia and we better be getting back.”

“Wait. What?”

“Yeah,” said Kyle, “We forgot to tell you. We adopted Imp. Poor little guy--he needed someone and now he’s got us.” Kyle took both Lonnie and Regelio’s hands.

Lonnie smiled. “Yeah, we better be getting back. Congrats you two. And Golden Girl? Treat Catra good or I will come back and break your face.” 

* * *

Much later that night, Adora woke beside her wife--for a moment, she lay there and savored the word in her head. 

Her face still hurt and she slipped from the bed, crept into the bathroom, and closed the door. 

She summoned her sword, no problem. “For the Honor of Grayskull!” She felt the magical shift that healed her bruised eyes and swollen nose. She peered into the mirror. “Okay, so where have you been?” It was nerve-wracking to have She-ra behave so inconsistently.

The bathroom door creaked open behind her. Melog stood there, considering her in the moonlight.

For the first time ever, it spoke to her, “Mate-of-my-granddaughter/Protector of Etheria/Adora. ” All of those words or their meanings were somehow compressed into a single purred sound. “I must confess/reconcile/make right/apologize to you.”

“Excuse me? I don’t understand.” 

“You are concerned with not transforming. I have interfered. I am sorry.”

“You stopped me from transforming?” That was terrifying.  
  


“No. I merely came to an understanding with the magic of the She Ra spirit. I asked her to refrain from magically healing Catra/your mate/my granddaughter. “

“Why?”

“To heal her magically would only heal the flesh. And it would only make her dependent upon you. It is dangerous/unhealthy/wrong to rely solely on one other.”

“Will she heal?”

“Yes. As will you. It will take time. This way is slower but better.”

“Thank you,” Adora said, thinking about how last night had been the most relaxed she’d ever seen Catra. How her eyes had shone when Lonnie had asked Glimmer and Casta to make them official.

“I am glad you walk together with my young one.” Melog pronounced. 

Little noises came from Catra as she slept. Another nightmare. Adora approached the bed, crawling in with her. “Catra!” she said loudly, mindful of what had sent her into a panic the night before.

Catra’s eyes snapped open, pupils slitted, hackles up. 

“You’re having a dream. Wake up.” Adora grasped her hand, hoping the pressure would reassure her. “Wake up.”

“Adora? You’re real?” She teetered on the knife-edge of nightmare for a moment and Adora didn’t want to let her spin off. She knew she needed to do or say something Prime’s fake Adora would not.

She held Catra’s wrist, squeezing it hard to give her some grounding. “I’m real,” she said. “And Horde Prime is still a fucking loser.” 

Catra laughed, her pupils opening up, her fur smoothing. “Where are we?”

“We’re home, Catra.”

“Okay. Good.” Catra’s eyes slid shut, apparently never having really woke up.

End.


End file.
